Anywho, the end of last week's episode promised a showdown between Lisa and Adrienne this week, and for that I will be forever grateful. Sure, it's fun to make jokes about how pressed Paul and Adrienne are for Lisa to engage in catty warfare — and even more fun to watch her rise above it all — but all of this build up has me itching for an all-out, shade-out.
On to the Lisa/Adrienne showdown. Adrienne's all, "We make better friends. My bad, Lisa. Kumbaya." And Lisa's kind of just slow-blinking and sipping wine through it. You can practically hear Adrienne's stomach dropping, and she starts to stammer through the rest. Mainly, because this apology is based on nothing other than, her wanting the feud to be over because she doesn't have enough heart. Adrienne basically feels like friends sometimes hurt each other and they should be mature, and a whole heap of other malarkey.
Darn it! Lisa decides to ease up, explaining that Adrienne hurt her, and she felt that her integrity was being questioned. She says she appreciates Adrienne coming by to kiss the ring, because she's far too classy for catfights and shouting matches. She accepts the apology, but she is well aware that she and Adrienne's relationship will never be the same.
For whatever reason, Adrienne's still convinced that Lisa owes her an apology, as well, but she knew that was a pipe dream. Lisa is a far better woman than me. I'll ride a grudge like that until the wheels fall off.
Kyle's daughter, Alexia, takes her driving test, failing it twice, but passing it on the third try. Never heard of them allowing you three tries in one day, but that's what happens. Now Alexia's out risking other people's lives in a Maserati.
Yay, Brandi's back this episode! Lisa, being awesome, hooks Brandi up with a gig, modeling for Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine. And she looks absolutely gorgeous, by the way.
That's not the only new job opportunities heading Miss Glanville's way. She's also writing a tell-all about her divorce. After the way she judged Taylor for writing a book after Russell's death, surely Taylor is going to have a problem with this. There was definitely something untoward about Taylor profiting from a man's death – even a man who may have abused her. But either way, that drama is going to boil over, nicely.
Later, Kim invites the ladies to a spa day at Casa Elar Spa and Resort in Ojai, California. (Just Googled that place, because I'm a masochist. For $290, you can be slathered with locally-grown honey and lavender, dip your feet in a foaming sugar scrub, be buffed with this lavender and herb powder and then enjoy a heated body wrap — made of lavender and honey.) And when I say, "the ladies" I mean all of the ladies, including Brandi. Dun dun dun!
It's totally understandable that Kim wants to forgive Brandi as a part of her sobriety, and hats off too her. But this is definitely going to end badly.
While Kyle, Kim, Adrienne, Taylor and Camille are riding to the spa a limo, Kyle asks Camille about her ex's — Kelsey Grammer, y'all — new tattoo. (Sidenote: These people insist on taking limos everywhere. Isn't that a little nouveau riche? Whatever. My first student loan payment is due this week, so I'm feeling a little bitter while watching these women squander their wealth.)