We're in for a two-hour episode tonight; I'm going to try and keep things briefer than normal so this recap doesn't end up eleventy-billion words long.
'Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner'
Back at their camp, Hali celebrates Nina being gone (I didn't realize she was that horrible to be around). She then tries to assure Will that despite the two votes he got, they didn't really want him gone. In reality, they want him gone, but they wanted Nina gone first.
Over at Blue Collar, Dan finds a snake by the fire and gets Mike to cut its head off. It's a little snake, but they'll take all the protein they can get. Mike and Rodney seem to have gotten over their tiff from the last episode.
Reward Challenge time! It's time for the blindfolded obstacle course. One caller sends two blindfolded people through the course to retrieve items that then have to be hoisted onto the platform where the caller is. The first place reward is three egg-laying hens and one rooster, second place gets ten eggs. Sierra is calling for Blue, Carolyn for White, and Joe for No.
Joe seems to be doing the best job calling - Sierra is alright, but not loud enough, while Carolyn seems to forget to tell people about obstacles. Everyone is being very careless about dropping their pulleys after the items are hoisted, and it gets so bad that Kelly gets seriously beaned in the head and is bleeding. Like, a lot. Which she can't see because she's blindfolded.
Jeff stops the game, calls a medic in, and she's got a 4 cm gash on her forehead. They don't take the blindfold off the whole time because it would take her out of the game if she saw the course. The medic agrees to quickly patch her up so she can finish the challenge, and then restart.
No Collar is doing fantastic and easily wins first place. White and Blue are fighting it out for the eggs. White Collar manages to win the eggs, and Blue Collar is not happy, especially Kelly, who it covered in blood.
No Collar are happy happy people with their chickens and rooster. They talk about slaughtering one of the chickens (supposedly for Will's birthday, but I think just to eat some food). But who is going to be doing the slaughtering in this tribe of hippie-dippies? And just to prove my point, Jenn, who is vegetarian, is upset they they are killing the chicken when they could be keeping it alive and eating the eggs.
While everyone else is murdering and feasting, Jenn decides to get away from camp, collect firewood and look for the Immunity Idol. And apparently karma likes chickens, because she finds it.
The mood is not so great over at Blue Collar, where Kelly has ended up with six stitches. Rodney is also giving the girls his chauvinistic life philosophy, and it's basically driving the girls nuts. They're right, but then Rodney has to point out that anyone with a face tattoo (Linsday) has some serious problems. He's not wrong. Well, not all. But a lot.
Over at White Collar, they're hard boiling the ten eggs they got. Why? There are about a million other ways they could have cooked them. Shirin knows that no one on her tribe would have been able to slaughter the chicken.
And Shirin is the first Survivor that I can remember that actually looked up how to slaughter a chicken and went to a farmer and learned how to slaughter a rabbit. Which makes complete sense, and I can't believe I'm saying this about Shirin, who is nuts. Joaquin compares her to a sociopath who starts out killing mice, because he's an idiot.
Carolyn is not happy with how Max is treating her, so she goes to Tyler and Joaquin to talk about "cutting off the head of the snake."
Immunity Challenge time! Why, it's another obstacle course! But this time they're tied to a rope and then have to raise a ball up a wall of holes. Will is struggling a bit, and Jeff feels the need to point out that he not only sucks in the water but on the land, too.
Rodney also gets caught up at exactly the same spot. Despite this, they are the first ones to the maze (I guess, that's what Jeff calls it) where they have to lift up the balls without dropping them through the other side. All three teams are going for their third and final ball at the same time, but No Collar is the first to finish. White and Blue Collar were neck and neck, until Rodney screwed it up. White Collar wins, and Blue Collar is going to Tribal Council.
Over at Blue Collar, they are lamenting that it's "too soon" for them to go to Tribal Council. Whatever, everyone else has been at least once. I lose all respect for Dan when he decides to "act like a woman" while listening to Linsday. He agrees with everything she says. Now, I don't disagree with his method, just his reasoning behind it.
Rodney thinks that he has a strong alliance with Kelly, Dan and Mike, and that they'll vote for Linsday. But Mike and Kelly have their doubts and don't trust Rodney. It seems like neither one is well-liked in their tribe, but who will be going home tonight?
Tribal Council time! Rodney must be feeling very confident, because he calls Lindsay out right away. And Lindsay must also feel confident, because she basically says he has no morals. Aaannd then Rodney spouts off about "holding themselves at a higher respect" which just, no. I'm trying to keep this recap short(er) so I'm not going to address that because we'll be here all night and my head will explode.
And then Lindsay gives the ultimate "go Blue Collar" speech using every cliche she knows, but they love cliches on this tribe, so it might work for her.
Voting time! As expected, the first four votes go 2-2 for Rodney and Lindsay. Then there's a random vote for Sierra, and then another? So it's a three-way tie for Linsday, Sierra and Rodney. Everyone except those three vote again, and it's Lindsay who is going home.
And that would normally be the end, but nope, there's a whole hour left...onwards!
'We're Finally Playing Some Survivor'
Back at Blue Collar, Sierra wants to know who voted for her, and Mike has to spell it out that everyone else at the camp is in an alliance, except her. Dan seems to think that she needs to know what's wrong with her, tells her everything she's done wrong, but gee, he still likes her.
Rodney is annoyed that Sierra is crying, because his name was written down, too. He's right. Mike just wants the whole tribe to be happy again.
And we jump right into the Reward Challenge, but wait, no it's not. We're switching tribes, which makes Sierra super happy. Don't blame her. I guess I'm going to have to learn the tribe names now.
There will now be two tribes - blue is Escameca, and red is Nagarote. I'm just going to call them Red and Blue. Sierra ends up with Dan, Rodney and Mike on Blue, and she has to pretend she's happy. Tyler, Joachim and Joe are also on Blue. That means Red is Will, Hali, Jenn, Max, Carolyn, Shirin and Kelly.
Reward Challenge time! They are catching slingshots with a lacrosse stick - doesn't matter which color ball you catch. First to five wins kitchen supplies, including pots, pans, utensils, oils, spices, and big plate of sausage. They also get any rewards the White Collar Tribe won, since no one is going back to that beach.
Joe is awesome, and Escameca manages to win 5-2. I hope that doesn't put a big target on his back, especially with no support.
The new Nagarote tribe (fine, I'm using the names) check out the old No Collar camp. And instead of Kelly being the odd man out, she's going to end up being the swing vote, and everyone is being really, really nice to her.
Kelly likens this to being an undercover cop and having to go into a house where you don't know anyone and trying to buy drugs. You just go in and start talking. Shirin thinks she has Kelly on her side, but I think Kelly's playing it cool.
So is Joe going to be the swing vote as well? No, because the Blue Collar tribe has four people. That sucks. And Rodney starts out being super creepy talking about dating his mother, and then brings out the dead sister. (No disrespect to his sister, but that's how he talks about it.)
The minute Rodney, Mike, and Dan go to get water, Sierra wastes no time telling Joe, Joaquin, and Tyler that she absolutely hates them and wants nothing to do with them. Way to play it close to the chest.
Over at Nagarote, Shirin is endearing herself to her new tribe by singing the Star Spangled Banner first thing in the morning and then talking about pooping. Jenn hates her already, and it's only been 12 hours.
The good times keep on rolling, and Max comes back from the beach with stingray bites on both feet. Jenn tells him to put his feet in the boiled water pot, but he neglects to tell them that he has a big 'ole plantar wart on his foot. Hali and I are a little grossed out.
Carolyn is another one who is ready to jump ship because she would rather risk going out on her own than play any more with Shirin and Max.
On a lovely stroll on the beach, Dan is realizing that telling Sierra everything she's ever done wrong might not have been the right approach because now they need her. Dan wants to talk at Sierra some more and use his wonderful tactics. If she falls for any of this she's an idiot.
And here's how the talk goes: Dan completely gaslights her and tries to make her feel like something that she did to him was just as bad. He's really emotionally manipulative, but luckily Sierra's not buying it.
Immunity Challenge time! Gee, it's an obstacle course. This time, they're pulling ceramic spheres on sleds (say that five times fast) though the course. When they get them all to the ends, they have to put them up on poles and then smash them with a wrecking ball.
Because of the large amount of strong guys, Escameca takes a large and early lead. They start smashing pots before Nagarote are even done placing theirs. And Dan is apparently really good at smashing things, because he gets every single one without missing before the other tribe can even start.
So Nagarote is going to Tribal Council, and apparently Max is happy about it, because he wants to change the dynamic around camp. Careful, Max, that change may be that you're not around. Actually, chances are good that's going to happen.
It seems like it's all going to come down to Kelly (unless Carolyn jumps ship). And Shirin is gunning for Will, going to Kelly and being all logical that he should go because Will sucks at challenges. She's not wrong about that, but I like him.
Logically, getting rid of Will makes sense for the tribe, but Shirin doesn't know how annoying she is. And, in fact, Carolyn goes right to Jenn and tells her exactly that. But she's fine with either Max or Shirin going. In fact, everybody wants both of them gone, and they have a hard time deciding who it should be. I'd go with Shirin.
Tribal Council time! Shirin starts talking right away and is babbling on about how this is her new home, and then questions Jeff on his facial expressions. Kelly is a little more circumspect about what the problems in the tribe are (cough Max cough Shirin) but then Max takes over and starts talking like the college professor he is.
Oh I can't take this anymore - it's been two hours of these people talking about themselves. Except Shirin's last words to Jeff: "You're typically blindsiding someone because there's some unpleasantness, something that's not fitting in." Yes, and it's you. Let's vote!
We see Shirin votes for Will and makes a low blow about his weight, and we don't see who Jenn votes for, but she asks them to "please stop talking." Right with you, sister. Max fakes having an Immunity Idol, and no one finds it funny.
And the reason why no one thought it was funny was because they all voted for him. Max is voted out. Shirin is shocked and Carolyn is smug.
Next time: Rodney and Joaquin bond, but no one else is happy about it.