We start out tonight with Jeff, live in Los Angeles; social media; voting for next season, hashtag blah blah blah.
Let's get on with this finale -- it's two hours long.
But I spoke too soon, because it seems we're going to recap the whole season, explaining the whole White Collar, Blue Collar and No Collar thing again, but this time with a sweetheart edit for the Blue Collar tribe. No Collar also went to Tribal Council a lot.
Mike screwed up by being a jerk at the auction and pissed off his whole alliance, but then he won Immunity a bunch of times, so he was OK. Will was a jerk, Dan spouted off a lot and and Mike made a new alliance with Carolyn
At the most recent tribal council, Dan tried to use his two-vote advantage to get rid of Carolyn, but she had an Immunity Idol that she'd been keeping under wraps. It was awesome to watch. Bye Dan!
So now we're left with Sierra, Will, Carolyn, Rodney and Mike. Sierra is a non-entity, Will is a loudmouth who sucks at challenges, Carolyn is a real threat who's played a strong game, Rodney is hot-tempered and borderline delusional and Mike is surviving by sheer will alone.
We finally get to the real episode. Everyone is doing serious damage control with Carolyn back at the beach after Tribal Council. She knows they were going to get rid of her, but she's not willing to completely burn her bridges with them until the numbers are more in her favor.
Reward Challenge time! It's an obstacle course, slidey thing and puzzle. And it's the loved ones reward. If Rodney doesn't get to go on this, I think he may have a psychotic break.
Carolyn's husband, Mike's mom, Rodney's dad, Sierra's dad and Will's wife all come out and get a short moment with their loved ones.
Rodney loses his mind a little when he sees his dad and starts ranting about looking up at the sky and finding peace... I know he's been through a lot with his sister being killed, so if this really has helped him, I'm glad.
The winner of this reward not only gets to bring his or her loved one back to the camp, but also gets an advantage in the next challenge.
Will says he was energized by seeing his wife, and he is, indeed, through the first part of the challenge before anyone else.
Once they get their pieces through the sliding part, they then have to balance a bunch on a paddle while running through the obstacle course. Mike is the first through, followed closely by Will, but Will keeps dropping his pieces.
Mike is the first to start working on the puzzle. He is finished and trying combinations before anyone else starts matching pieces. Sierra catches up, but Mike gets the right combination and wins. Again.
Mike's mom is going back to camp for the night, after which Mike and his mom get to go to the location of the next Immunity challenge before anyone else
Mike's mom is a very sweet Texas lady who expected him to be skinnier than he his. Mike confides in his mom the problems he's been having with everyone else. It's probably a big stress relief to just talk to someone without having to worry about repercussions in the game.
The next morning (I wonder how Mike's mom slept out there), Mike and his mom get to the Immunity Challenge. It's a maze that everyone has to run through blindfolded, and Mike gets 30 minutes to let his mom run him through while blindfolded. It's a great advantage, but Mike's mom doesn't seem to be the best guide. In her defense, it wouldn't be easy to try to explain a maze to someone with a blindfold on.
Immunity Challenge time! Like I said: blindfolded maze. They have to go to the four corners of the maze, and retrieve a medallion from each area: North, South, East, and West. Then they have to head back to center and get a necklace. First one done wins.
I love mazes, but I've never tried to navigate one blindfolded. Mike is moving quickly and finds his first medallion; the others are much more hesitant. Mike's mom may not have thought she did a good job, but he gets all four medallions while the others are struggling with one or two
Mike is headed for the Immunity necklace, and he finds it before anyone else even gets to the third medallion. He's won Immunity again, and he's got a spot in the final four.
So who will be going home next? Sierra and Carolyn talk to Mike about possibly voting with him to get rid of Rodney. He's game for it, especially if the two girls will commit to keeping him if he doesn't win the next Immunity Challenge. They shake on it, agreeing they will be the final three.
Then Mike goes and tells Rodney exactly that, and methinks the little trill of music in the background is a clue that Rodney's about to snap. Rodney starts to refer to himself in the third person, while complaining to Mike that Sierra doesn't do anything, but is good at challenges. Rodney promises that he and Will will ally themselves with Mike. Looks like Mike's got some decisions to make.
Tribal Council time! Jeff immediately identifies Mike as the swing vote, and Mike says he can't trust any of them. Sierra tries to sell herself as someone who deserves to stay in the game, which might not be the best strategy at this point. But then Will makes this mistake of saying that if Mike doesn't win Immunity he's going home next, which may have just sealed Rodney's fate.
Voting time! We see Rodney vote for Sierra (although it took me a second, since he spelled it 'Ciara'"). Mike apparently sides with Rodney, because it's Sierra who is voted out, 3-2. Guess she shouldn't have made herself look like such a threat
We see all the votes, and everyone else voted for Sierra - including Carolyn, though she played a pretty good game of looking upset when Sierra left.
Now it's Day 38, and we jump right into the last Immunity Challenge. They have to untie knots to get through gates, then race up a tower and get a key, then fly down a water slide and through an obstacle course, where you use the key to get puzzle pieces. This has to be done three times, and then they have to build a lighthouse-shaped puzzle. Sounds exhausting.
Mike is the first through the knots. Rodney is the last, but he makes up time running up the stairs. Mike has a slight lead after the first bag of puzzle pieces. Will and Carolyn are fading with their second trip up the stairs, but Rodney is hanging in there.
Mike starts the puzzle first, with Rodney close behind. Carolyn comes shortly after, and Will is lagging behind but not giving up. Carolyn and Mike start the puzzle neck and neck, but Mike pulls way ahead and handily finishes in the lead. He's won Immunity again, and he's guaranteed in the Final Three.
Despite Mike winning, the other three absolutely gave everything without holding back, and Will is proud of their effort. It's a remarkable bonding moment between the three of them, especially considering one of them will be voted out very, very soon.
So who is going to make it to the Final Three and who is going home? Rodney is confident that it's him, Will and Mike, but Will's not so sure.
He's right to be worried. Mike and Carolyn are talking, and he's not into taking anyone from the Blue Collar tribe to the end because of how they abandoned him. Mike wants the two of them to vote for Rodney, and Rodney and Will will vote for Carolyn. Rodney and Carolyn will have to make fire to see who stays and who goes.
Mike tells Carolyn to start quietly practicing making fire.
Mike says he would rather lose to Carolyn than take Rodney and Will to the end. He just might do just that.
Tribal Council time! Mike plays like he's going to vote for Carolyn, but we'll see. Dan can't keep himself from rolling his eyes every time Mike talks or someone mentions his name. Guess he's not going to vote for him.
Voting time! First vote is for Rodney, second and third votes are for Carolyn, but the last vote is for Rodney, which leaves us with a tie. Which means we're making fire. Jeff points out that by now, at Day 38, they should know how to make fire. Dan finds laugh-out-loud amusing, but I think that's mostly to draw attention to himself.
So we're making fire. They have to build a big enough fire to burn through a string that's about 18 inches high. They're both struggling to do it, and at about six minutes in, Carolyn breaks her flint. Jeff gives her a new one, letting Rodney know he can get a new one, too.
Twenty minutes in, still no fire. They both really suck at this. Carolyn is hacking at her flint, and breaks another one. Now we're 45 minutes in, and neither is any closer to fire. Maybe that's why Dan was laughing.
Rodney has a flame! But then it goes out. This is painful.
Rodney gets a flame going, and then, shortly after, so does Carolyn. Both try to add real fuel to their fire (the husk goes quickly). Carolyn is building a teepee structure, while Rodney is just throwing things on there. Carolyn's plan is the better one, and she gets the flame high enough to burn through the string first. She's made it to the Final Three.
So we've got someone from each tribe -- White Collar, Blue Collar and No Collar. I'm sure the producers are beside themselves with glee.
Rodney calls Mike a scumbag and a redneck during his goodbyes. I guess he's not voting for Mike. But 10 minutes after the confessional, he states again that the experience has changed his life and he's found peace.
Will is happy to have made it to the end. Which is nice, I guess, but he doesn't have a chance of winning.
They get their Final Three Feast, because I guess they need some food in order to formulate complete sentences.
Final Tribal Council time! Now it's the jury's turn to talk.
Joe is first. He wants them to take the gloves off. He doesn't want to ask a specific question, but he lets them know that his vote is not decided yet -- the one who 'brings it' the most during this Tribal Council will get it.
Hali asks Carolyn about her "Mama C" role and why it could hurt her game. She says some people didn't see her as a real player in the game but she is.
Rodney wants to know how Will was "real" during the game. We get a bit of a sob story about being an underdog and being giving, which would go over better if he hadn't been so horrible to Shirin earlier. Rodney also asks Carolyn about her power moves; she gives getting rid of Tyler and Dan as her examples
Tyler wants to know what Mike brought to the game socially. Mike admits his social game sucked, but that he's a nice guy in real life. Tyler also wants to know why Carolyn betrayed him and asks her to redeem herself. She admits it was a sucky thing to do, and "Survivor" made her do it, and if she hadn't done it, she'd be sitting on the jury.
Sierra asks Will what other traits he wished he had. He likes Mike's work ethic and Carolyn's way with words.
Jenn tells the Final Three that she doesn't have a problem with any of them, and addresses the jury instead. She tells them that half of them are the most bitter group of people she's ever met, and that they're angry at people for playing better than them. She tells them that if they're really fans, they'll vote for Mike, and that they should get over themselves. She also makes a great analogy about kicking Mike out of his own house, building a barbed wire fence and then daring him to try and come back in.
Dan doesn't want to have to speak after Jenn, and who can blame him? Her speech is what he wishes he was. But if there's one thing Dan loves doing, it's pontificating. He invokes Colby Donaldson to let Mike know he made a mistake in bringing Carolyn to the end, while also trying to let everyone know how well he knows the game. I find him so tiresome.
Mike takes the opportunity to apologize to Dan about being totally shady at the auction, even if they can't be friends after. Dan appreciates the genuine apology, and is very nice about it. He's still not going to vote for Mike, though.
Shirin is last. Of course, she needs to bring up Will verbally abusing her, and says it actually helped her, because she stood up for herself. But Mike did run into the camp and try to save her, and that moment was great for her, better even than making her first million at 25. But she's not voting for him, she's voting for Carolyn, because she's been on the winning side of every vote.
Shirin then compares Mike to a howler monkey who throws feces and Carolyn to a stingray that will hide but then sting you dead without warning. Will, well he's dead fish that people are willing to bring along in order to get to the end. Will looks like he wants to say something to her, but knows it will not end well.
Well, that was a night of epic speeches. But who will win the $1 million? It's time to vote!
We see Jenn vote for Mike, Rodney vote for Will and Sierra vote for Carolyn. We don't see who Dan votes for, but we see him bang his head a bit, just for that extra bit of airtime.
And now we fast forward to the live show, where everyone is cleaner and nicely dressed and not so gaunt. Will actually looks thinner than he did on the show, but it looks like he's put on a lot of muscle.
First vote is for Mike, second is for Will, third is for Carolyn. The next three votes are for Mike, and that's all he needs. Mike wins the 30th season of "Survivor."