'New Girl' recap, Season two's saucy, shot-filled premiere

Jess (Zooey Deschanel) leads Sam (guest star David Walton) to believe she was his blind date in the season two premiere of "New Girl."
Jess (Zooey Deschanel) leads Sam (guest star David Walton) to believe she was his blind date in the season two premiere of "New Girl." (FOX)

Welcome to season two of New Girl!

The perfect way to start off the season: A bathroom encounter between Nick and Jess. (I mean after the way he opened the door during the season finale to sultrily say "Hey," we all know something will inevitably happen between them). However there was no sexy in the scene, just Nick screeching through, "Groove is in the Heart."

That got me thinking: What songs would Winston and Schmidt sing in the shower? Winston, a lover of musicals, would sing "Beauty School Dropout" from "Grease," in my opinion, and step out of the shower with a towel turban just as he hit that last high note. And Schmidt, would without a doubt rap "Informer" by Snow and know Every. Single. Lyric. (Think it over and leave your picks in the comment section!)

As season premieres go, this had two pretty solid plots: Jess, gets laid off due to cut-backs since she's not tenured (or as Schmidt said: "Obama!"). The boys want to rally together to make sure she doesn't freak out -- I'm guessing they are a little sick of "Dirty Dancing" (Paddy Swayze forever!).

In the meantime, Schmidt is penis cast free y'all! Since poor Schmidt was branded "Penis Cast Guy" all summer he thinks it is time for a rebranding party. He invites all his closest friends like his urologist, Philip Seymour Hoffman (who will think the party is lame unless Schmidt has some form of a big cat), the screen writer of a little show called "Cranked," and of course CeCe who he hasn't spoken to since that fateful night in the desert.

Enlisting Nick to make drinks that will make girls take their tops off -- and get Winston a little weird -- Schmidt begrudgingly allows Jess to work as a shot girl to pick up her spirits.

As the party begins it seems every one of the gang is trying to rebrand themselves. Jess is trying to prove that she is fine and OK with losing her job. She can succeed at being a shot girl, right? However, dressing as a 1920s cigarette girl doesn't give Jess much of a chance to be a popular shot girl unlike the washed up drunk older lady in the referee uniform calling everyone jerks (Parker Posey, Holla!).

Winston. Oh, Winston, the underappreciated goof ball of the group. All he wants is to prove to Nick that he can handle his infamous panty dropping drinks like a man. Well he can't, and he gets weird, really weird.

Schmidt, in all his penis-freedom party glory, just wants to see CeCe. Their reunion, however, is less than stellar when Ce shows up with her new boyfriend Robbie/Liberty Bell/Commoner/Lord of Winterfell. Though fire tricks and smooth words couldn't salvage this relationship, I don't think this is the last of this couple.

Jess, realizing the sad fact that she is a shot girl when all she ever wants to do is teach has to leave and actually accept that she is in a bit of a crisis. Well awww I wonder who is going to come and comfort her?

Hey Nick, please tell me my life doesn't suck and put your arm around me as we sit on the hood of my car. Well kids, if there weren't enough proof that these two crazy roommates will eventually get together, all you have to do is remind your DVR and watch the way that Nick looks at Jess.

Whether on the hood of the car, as she dances on the bar, or brushes her teeth, he has got it bad for her. This season should be interesting.

Let's be honest, they all bring the funny, so here are each member of the gangs best one-lines of the night:

Jess: "They don't have to go to boob prison every day" -- Jess loving not having to wear a bra during unemployment. Amen Sista.

Winston: "Look at me being naughty ... soooo naughty." -- after drinking Nick's fruity cocktail aut of a silly straw.

Schmidt: "That's not a suit, that's something they put on Morgan Freeman when they let him out of Shawshank. Did a magician die in that?" -- his reaction to Winston's adult suit

Nick: "I only want to make a drink that a coal-miner would want." -- explaining he is done with girly fruit cocktails.

All right guys that does it for the premiere! I will be recapping "New Girl" this season, so if you like my recaps, awesome! If you don't, well suck it, I'm here all season. Follow me @AwesomeAMT!

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