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'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' recap: 'Frank's Pretty Woman'

Now that the “Sunny” writers don’t have to improvise around Dee Reynolds’ baby bump this season, “Sunny” fans may find themselves wondering, “Why is Mac the fat one now?”

Maybe it’s because Mac (Rob McElhenney) is carrying around a trash bag full of chimichangas. (To picture his new look, see Roger Clarvin – Will Ferrell’s character in the Hot Tub Lovers skit on “SNL.”)

Or maybe it’s because the members of the gang have now reached their “Second Acts.” Dennis (Glenn Howerton), who fears change, has realized that at this point, he and his confederates have new avenues to venture down in life.

The season opens, in a bar, in Philadelphia. Nothing has changed there. Mac is about 50 pounds heavier – all muscle, he claims. Frank (Danny DeVito) has revealed that he is courting a prostitute, and all Dennis wants is to prevent his gang from becoming the “gross crew.”

Their marching orders are set from there: Dee tries to turn Frank’s girlfriend, Roxy (Alanna Ubach), into “Pretty Woman;” Dennis aims to better his bro Mac’s “Second Act” and make him fit as a feather. The tak for Charlie (Charlie Day) is to market Frank to the online dating scene as something a non-prostitute could love.

The results? Mac has adult onset diabetes – pronounced a la Wilford Bramley. Unfortunately, the doctor reveals that Dennis isn’t in prime physical condition either. Depressed over the results, Dennis realizes that maybe his second act isn’t as sweet as he thinks it will be and gorges on trashbag-Mexican food with Mac.

Dee and Roxy -- the latter drinking off-brand vodka and smoking crack all day -- pay homage to the Julia Robert’s rom-com about the prostitute that could. Roxy eventually confides in Dee that she’s been getting paid to let a Tiger Woods imposter rub her feet. At least she’s not having sex with him -- yay?

Charlie devises a scheme that ends up in him vomiting fake blood all over Frank’s potential online-match-site date. Honestly, no setup to this scene is needed. On the bright side, Frank reveals he truly loves Roxy and doesn’t want to “bang” any other “broads” but her.

The episode closes with Frank popping the big question in front of the gang as Pachelbel Canon plays in the background. Roxy dies – remember, she was smoking crack rocks stored in her anus all day. Thinking quickly, and realizing Charlie has fake blood all over him, the gang dumps Roxy’s corpse in the hallway and calls the cops.

To sum it up: There weren’t any memorable one-liners this week. And at the end of the day, there weren’t any moments where Charlie’s illiteracy burnt The Gang.

Props: Rob McElhenney really did gain all that weight to play a Fat Mac. Funny how his wife Kaitlin Olson – who plays Sweet Dee -- had his baby, yet he puts on 50 extra pounds of “cultivating mass.”

Moments That Make You Feel Like a Better Person: Charlie continually vomiting fake blood over an innocent woman did attain the shock value “Sunny” fans expected out of a season opener. But at the end of the day, you realize that you’re not a horrible person anymore when you see this sad bunch dump a dead crack-head prostitute in a rundown hallway.

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