"I will not be a placeholder president, Claire. I will win. And I will leave a legacy." -Frank Underwood
"You mean we will." -Claire Underwood
The Adventures of Doug Stamper
We spend the first third of the episode watching Doug Stamper recover from a brain injury, suffered when Rachel smashed his head with a rock in the Season 2 finale. Claire visits Doug in the hospital, trying to see what he recalls from the incident, and to see if he knows where Rachel is. It's important to track her down, Claire reminds Doug. She coaches him on what to say if the police question him.
Doug is eager to get back to work as Frank's fixer, as the first six months of the Underwood presidency aren't going well. Frank makes an appearance on The Colbert Report, where Colbert lists gridlock in Washington and an increased trade deficit among the laundry list of Frank's missteps so far. Frank promises that his New Deal-esque America Works jobs program will jolt the economy. Doug tries to get in touch with Frank after the show, but Seth is freezing him out. The Underwoods don't trust that Doug is his old self, just yet.
Doug turns to Gavin (he'll always be Lyle the Intern to me), his FBI source, to try to track down Rachel. Gavin hasn't been able to track her down, but the FBI also hasn't started to connect the dots between her and Doug. Gavin knows that Doug isn't well-connected at the moment, and he has little time for him.
We see Doug trying to get his health back at home, but he struggles greatly. He falls in the shower and breaks his wrist, then decides to treat it himself, with a makeshift duct tape/wooden spoon splint. Ouch.
Doug finally gets a meeting with the president, where he lobbies for a job in the administration. He knows that he can't slide back into his old role, but he knows that Frank will need help wrangling votes for America Works, and Doug thinks he can help with that.
"You have to respect your own mortality, Doug. I don't want to be standing over your grave," Frank tells him. That seems like a threat almost as much as a concerned comment. "There is a place for you here. I promise. But we have to go about this slowly," Frank assures him. "When you are truly ready."
After his meeting with Frank, Doug goes to get his wrist fixed. He's prescribed Percocet for the pain, something that an addict in recovery should avoid. He refuses the full prescription, but does take a few pills with him. When those run out, he goes out for some booze and hires a prostitute. Whatever it takes to slide back into his old role.
About That Jobs Program
Seth takes questions from reporters, who want to know what exactly the America Works program will entail. Seth is short on specific details, but tells the press that full employment is the program's goal.
In a policy meeting, Frank's program advisers take issue with the strategy that Frank is considering, namely, cutting Social Security and medicare, then using that money to offer jobs. "I want $500 billion to put 10 million people to work. I don't care how much it hurts," Frank tells the team. "I don't care how controversial it is. Your job is to find a way... Your job is not to sell me on your version of my program."
A New Supreme
If there wasn't enough on Frank's plate, he also has to face a vacancy on the Supreme Court. One of the justices tells Frank that he's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and would like to resign and enjoy his last good years with his wife. Frank doesn't want to let him leave just yet, as he's sure that America Works will be challenged in the judiciary system, and he needs as many allies there as possible.
Claire Underwood, UN Ambassador?
Claire Underwood can never be accused of a lack of ambition. She wants to be the United States Ambassador to the United Nations. She visits with Senator Mendoza, who could stand in the way of her confirmation.
Claire knows that Mendoza has his sights on the White House in 2016, and frames her idea like this: If you support me and I do well, you were right. If I fail, you'll have ammunition for campaign ads when you run against my husband. "I won't actively block you. The rest is on your shoulders," the Republican senator tells her.
Later, Claire asks Frank when she should expect her nomination to be announced. Frank reluctantly tells her that some people at the State Department are doubting her. "Maybe we shouldn't rush this," Frank suggests. Claire is not going to be denied, but she chooses not to go to the mat with Frank at this particular moment.
That moment comes in the middle of the night. Claire awakens Frank, pouncing when perhaps his guard is down. "I don't want to wait. ... So set a date, hold a press conference, and let's do it," Claire tells him. Frank objects, but Claire reminds him that they made a deal, and that this nomination is a key point in her plan to one day run for office herself. "I'm almost 50 years old. I've been in the passenger seat for decades. It's time for me to get behind the wheel," she says.
Their argument is interrupted when Frank is called to authorize a military strike against a presumed terrorist. Despite the fact that going ahead with the strike could jeopardize an upcoming summit with the Russian president regarding Middle East peace, and in spite of the likelihood of civilian casualties, including children, Frank orders the strike, and has Claire by his side as he does so. He wants her to really feel the weight of what she is getting herself into.
"I still want it," Claire says.
The Best of Frank and Claire: Claire coaching and manipulating Doug, while still being the most charming person ever.
Frank's boss watch. Claire's pajamas. This couple's robe game is strong, too.
Frank having the only guy on his policy team bold enough to challenge him on his plan fired on the spot.
WTF? Moments: Frank Underwood, um, showering his father's tombstone. There are many ways to illustrate what a bad dude Frank is. I don't need to see bodily functions.
Doug with the bourbon syringe.
Best Frank Underwood Quotes:
"We have to do the things that people won't like."
"Yes, I made Donald my vice president. I'd rather him be a pain in my ass here than over in Congress."