Hmmmmm ... you call that a season finale?
Naturally, I’m hoping for some realism. A big fight would do the trick! If Derek Chavis was in charge of "Glee," that’s exactly what he would do: Give the group a big fight and have them come back to pick up the pieces in the final season.
Instead, they give Rachel a TV series, Mercedes a mall tour and Santana ... another Yeast-I-Stat commercial shoot in Iowa?
The best parts of the episode were the lines of ridiculousness coming from Brittany and the Fox Network writer, Mary Halloran. "I have a kitty in my pants." "Armchairs have the sweetest meat." "Can you leave? I need to shame eat."
In my humble opinion, the rest of the finale was kind of blah. I guess I should break it down for you all though.
Samcedes have some issues that they deal with in this episode. As mentioned before, Mercedes wants to wait until marriage and, well, Sam used to be a male stripper.
At one point in the episode, Rachel, Brittany and Kurt express their concern to Mercedes about continuing the relationship long-distance while Blaine and Artie tell Sam the same thing. It's better to make a clean break now, before someone gets hurt.
Brittany joins Mercedes on her mall tour and they talk about picking Santana up in Reno. Mercedes performs what seems to be an original R&B/funk/gospel song called "Shakin' My Head," and to be honest, when I was listening to the words of this song that's exactly what I did. SMH.
On the flip side, it was Sam's New York dream to get his "junk" on the side of a bus so when he hears Treasure Trailz underwear needs a model ASAP he goes out for the audition. Singing "Girls on Film" while auditioning, the woman in charge, Charlie Darling, decides he has the most sex appeal for this shoot and that he must return that evening.
At the shoot she seduces him and it cuts to him walking to Mercedes and explaining that he has cheated on her. When she finds out that he left crying after the kiss, she tells him that he hasn't cheated but that she doesn't want to hold him back anymore. They need to test their love to make it stronger and this is the perfect opportunity.
Onwards to Klaine, there's a cold front coming and her name is June Dolloway (guest star Shirley MacLaine). After begging and pleading with her to let Kurt in the showcase, she tells him no. Not only does she tell Blaine no, but she then says that if he crosses her he'll be nothing but mere driftwood. Ouch.
Blaine, clearly in a state of certain turmoil, lets it all out in his rendition of the big John Legend hit "All of Me." Kurt walks in toward the end with lunch and Blaine finally tells Kurt that June never wanted anyone but Blaine in the showcase. Kurt gets super upset and tells Blaine he can't trust him anymore.
Then, like five minutes later, when Blaine is ready to drop the showcase, Kurt returns and explains that "trust is a choice" and he chooses to love and trust him. Blaine kills it at the showcase. He sings "No Time At All" with June and when the crowd demands an encore he defies June by listening to his heart and calling Kurt up to sing with him.
They do an awkwardly cool version of Kanye West and Estelle's "American Boy" and the crowd loves it! June approaches Blaine and congratulates him on proving her wrong because it rarely happens.
As for Rachel, (AKA: the girl who gets everything she wants,) her writer, Mary Halloran (Kristen Schaal) comes to stay with her. Mary is absolutely insane. And neurotic. And a little narcissistic. And again, just all around cray cray.
The first script she wrote was absolute garbage, but again, I got a laugh from how random and ridiculous it was. Basically in the first script every character was a caricature of Rachel's friends who all had names that rhymed with their real name but were not logical names. Stumped? For instance, Kurt became Cert. Yes, like the breath mint.
Cert wore a Yoshi costume and seemed pretty stoned most of the time. Rachel's character ate a sheet cake in a bathtub and complained about her two gay dads who worked for NASA. Another scene had Rachel's character throwing an impromptu Earth Day rave and complaining that her two gay dads forgot her birthday. Weird stuff, right? It literally didn't make any sense.
She realizes that if she's going to take this huge step, she'll need a real script. She's risking a lot to try this out. She has Mary meet her at the diner and sings P!nk's "Glitter in the Air," and Mary is so moved that she'll attempt a real script for Rachel. Not one that features irony or an antihero.
The new script is everything Rachel could have hoped for and gets picked up for a pilot on Fox.
As for everyone else? The whole cast ends the show while singing Bastille's "Pompeii" as their storylines hash out.
Sam goes back to Lima, Ohio. Blaine moves back into the New York flat with Kurt. Mercedes starts her mall tour. Artie heads back to school in Brooklyn. Rachel heads to L.A. to start filming her show.
The group completely disbands for the first time in years, ready to see where the world takes them. As Sam said in the episode, it truly is the end of an era but Rachel makes everyone promise to meet right back in New York in six months.
Knowing that next year is the last season of the show and that it will most likely take place sometime in the near future, it'll be interesting to see where "Glee" goes. I thank you for following along with me these last nine months, it has truly been a pleasure writing for you all!