Rachel (Lea Michele) auditions for a television pilot.
Rachel (Lea Michele) auditions for a television pilot. (Tyler Golden/FOX)

The grass is always greener ... Isn't it, Rachel Berry? "Glee's" reigning egomaniac was served a somewhat bitter reality pill tonight. But it seems as though Ms. Berry is always the last one laughing, no?

Starting with the smallest storyline and working our way up brings us to Mercedes and Santana. Mercedes is almost finished her album, but according to her label, there isn't one hit single on the whole thing.


She asks Santana to come into the studio with her, because the two bring out the best in each other. They do a little "Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" with "Doo Wop (That Thing)" and they knock it out of the park.

Mercedes wants Santana to do a song with her on the album because she knows it would be huge with the crowd they're pursuing, but is told no. After Santana thanks Mercedes but assures her she's not worth the effort, Mercedes strikes a deal with the producer and gets Santana on the song. Santana realizes what it is like to truly do good for those you care about.

The Kurt and Blaine storyline was kind of annoying. Huge New York socialite June Dolloway (Shirley MacLaine) is donating a lot of money to NYADA and Kurt has been asked to perform at the soiree. Kurt tells Blaine that he plans on doing "Story of My Life" and needs his fiancee on the stage with him to help make the song all he hopes it can be, because of the legends in attendance.

After the song is performed, June tells Blaine she sees a lot of potential in him and wants to work with him ... and him only. Kurt obliges, because he knows that he and Blaine are a team and when one benefits, the other does also.

June takes Blaine to a fundraiser gala that she's throwing and the two perform Janis Joplin's "Piece of My Heart" to a swooning crowd. As they get to know each other, June tells Blaine she wants to throw a showcase featuring him, no Kurt, and that if Blaine were serious about life, he'd ditch Kurt all together.

She explains to Blaine that love basically isn't real and that the human condition is to feel pain. She says that he must learn to embrace his true samurai and go it alone, while Kurt is just going to hold him back. What's worse?

It seemed like he was buying into it a little bit. Wasn't it just two episodes ago when Blaine thought Kurt was getting all of the attention? Blaine seems to have control issues and it's really getting on my nerves.

Finally, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. What would you do if you finally realized your most star-reaching dreams? Relish the moment? Thank whomever it is out there you thank, because they helped you realize your dreams? Feel like you're already too good to play the same part eight times per week and decide that you want to fake being sick so you can fly across the country to audition for a new FOX show?

Well, if your name is Rachel Berry, you'll pick the last option. She opens the show with a gorgeous, slowed-down, super-folky version of Avicii's "Wake Me Up," as we see multiple Rachels going through the motions of the hard-hitting Broadway life. I understand eight times per week can get to be a little monotonous, but girl, you're only three weeks in. Give me a break!

She signs with a top-five management team that immediately tells her she has the "face for radio," thus TV and movies are not in the cards for her. When an exec from Fox comes into her dressing room after a show and explains he has the absolute perfect part for her in his new show, "Song of Solomon," she decides to lie to her boss, fly to L.A. and audition.

After doing a gorgeous cover of Bette Midler's "The Rose," she realizes "Song" isn't about singing at all. Described as "Guardians of the Galaxy" meets "Game of Thrones" with a strong "Grey's Anatomy" element, she cold-reads one of the most horrible scripts ever. After a very long, awkward kiss with the show's Solomon, she instantly regrets her decision to come to L.A.

This is about the time she gets a phone call from her producer saying her understudy has fallen off the stage lift and she's needed for a 7:30 curtain. She calls Kurt to explain to him that she's sitting in L.A. traffic and there's no way she'll be there in time.

Enter Santana, Rachel's epic understudy, once upon a time. Rachel cooks dinner to thank her and also ask what she wants in return. Santana, having just seen what true friendship is through Mercedes, lets Rachel know that this is the person that she'd like to be. "The world is so cold, it's good to have friends to keep you warm."

Rachel goes into a meeting with her producer the next day, who basically lets her have it. He tells her she won't be fired, not necessarily because he's a nice guy. He wants to fire her. The board wants to fire her. However, she's the star. She's why people are coming to the show.


She won't be fired, but he does let her know her place. He knocks her down more than a couple levels and swears to her that if she tries anything like that again, she'll be ruined. Sued beyond belief. Blacklisted from Broadway. It will be as if these performances never happened.

As she leaves the office in tears, she gets a call from Fox. While she obviously didn't get the part in the new space opera, she's offered a development deal. They're sending writers to New York to develop a show around her. She always gets the last laugh. I wonder if that'll ever change?

Next week's Chris Colfer-directed episode is the second-to-last of the season.