Are you a Katy or a Gaga? This is the question "Glee" asked tonight as it made its return from a four-week hiatus.

I momentarily forgot how incredibly random — and disturbing — this show can be. Becky telling Sam she doesn't give out "handies" as favors will never quite leave my head, I'm afraid. The kids find out that "Throat Explosion" (a show choir from Texas that requires its members to log 10,000 hours of performance time before they can even audition are performing at Nationals) and Mr. Schuester explains that the students must step outside of their comfort levels so they can perform their very best at regionals.


The class is divided into two categories based on personality: The Gagas (wild, crazy, not-so-mainstream students) and the Katys (wholesome boy/girl-next-door students) and then are tasked with performing a song made popular by the opposite singer.

Sam is trying to get Penny Owen to like him like he likes her, but after she explains that she recently went to a Skrillex concert where the DJ spat in a cup and threw it at her, Sam realizes Penny Owen might not be the girl he thought she was. In fact, she states that she has a "musical dark side" and is actually going to a Nine Inch Nails concert with her "douche ex-boyfriend." Sam sees this as an opportunity to explore his inner-Gaga and wow Penny Owen into liking his bad-boy side.

During Team Gaga's insane performance of "Applause," each member dresses in different theme of the video ... except Marley. The girl who loves Julie Andrews movies and kittens came out in a Katy Perry "California Girls" outfit complete with one of those jumbo spiral lollipops and a hot pink wig. When asked why she didn't stick to the seashell costume, she said she just wasn't comfortable with it and she wasn't going to go out of her comfort zone for any performance or boy (she had seen Jake dancing very sexy with mean-girl Bri earlier.) Mr. Schuester explains that they don't have time for someone who isn't a team player and suspends her from Glee club for a week.

Speaking of good girl Marley, she may be leading the single life soon. Jake had her over his place while his mom was working and tried to take it to a new level with his Katy Perry-clad girlfriend who told him she doesn't think it's fair that he's pressuring her into situations she's uncomfortable with. He lets her know that he's been the opposite of pressure and that he's been more kind and understanding than any guy he knows. After she screams to him that maybe he should find a girl that is more his style ... he does. Maybe? Nothing was shown, but he sought Bri out and made it sound like he wanted to do a little fornicating with her. She asks about his girlfriend to which he replies "Do you want to or not?" She makes sure they'll do it in a place where she won't get grass stains. At the end of the episode, he sees Marley again and a look of terror overcomes his face. Team Katy sang a beautiful stripped down version of "Wide Awake" and everyone adhered to the rules.

In New York, Kurt is starting a band. When Santana and Dani (Demi Lovato) agree to join, they audition a gentleman by the name of Stardust (Adam Lambert). He does an amazing cover of Gaga's "Marry the Night," however Kurt tells him that his glittery suit and full face of make-up don't fit with the aesthetic Kurt wants for the band. Rachel asks Kurt what has happened to his unique character, to which Kurt explains that he wants to be more mainstream as that is what he attributes to being successful. When Rachel tells him that he is special in a way that no other person is, he realizes he has made a mistake not letting Stardust in the band.

Later in the episode, however, Stardust shows up at the diner where the kids work in everyday clothes. He explains to Kurt that his name is really Oliver and that he really just wants to be in the band and will do whatever it takes. Kurt tells him that he's in — as Oliver, as Stardust or whomever he wants to be.

Before their first performance together, the group decides on a name that Rachel throws out: Pamela Lansbury, as in the edge of Pamela Anderson and the class and sophistication of Angela Lansbury. Rachel finally agrees to join the group, even though "Funny Girl" will be keeping her very busy. The group sings "Roar." New Directions is also singing "Roar" back in Lima after Sue suspends all of the students in Glee for wearing risqué costumes in school and makes Will aware that their feud is back on.

If it feels like this blog is all over the place, that's because it is. But I've done you a service as the show is getting harder and harder to make rhyme or reason out of anymore. Before my DVR cut off I could swear they said next week's episode is going to be purely about twerking. Please, God, No.

While it seems the productions of each number are getting bigger, the show's spirit gets smaller. Does Ryan Murphy think that because "American Horror Story" is amazing he can slack off on "Glee"? I hope not. It was officially announced recently that "Glee" will end after next season (Season 6) so let's end this show as great as we started it, shall we?