Artie made it rain...hearts.
Artie made it rain...hearts. (FOX)

It's Valentine's Day at William McKinley High. Cue the sappy love songs.

If you guessed this week's glee club's assignment would be "World's Greatest Love Songs," then you, my friend, are correct. And everyone's not-so-favorite rich girl, Sugar, is throwing a Valentine's Day party at Breadstix...I mean, the Sugar Shack. Single people are not welcome because they're "sad and boring" and don't exist in her world. So everyone has to bring a date.


And for some unknown reason, Artie and Rory are vying for Sugar's attention. So Artie showers her with red and white hearts and sings "You Should Let Me Love You" and I like his version better than the original (no offense to Baltimore native Mario). Sugar is smitten. But then Rory comes back with a sob story that he has to go back to Ireland (why do I feel like he's lying?) and Sugar chooses him. Poor Artie.

Meanwhile, the God Squad, which includes that other "Glee project" winner, Samuel Larsen, is busy singing Valentine-grams. We begin with "Stereo Harts" by Gym Class Heroes, from Finn to Rachel. Later, Santana asks the club to sing a song for Brittany. This causes discussion among the God Quad kids, you know, what with Santana and Brittany being gay and all.

Mercedes informs the God Squad that 1 out of 10 people are gay, which means one of the 12 disciples was probably gay (she thinks it was Simon). So the whole morality issue has Mercedes questioning who she really is and she tells Shane all about Sam. But she tells Sam she can't be with him, but obviously she has feelings for him because she launches into a heartfelt rendition of "I Will Always Love You," only one of the greatest love songs of all time.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think Mercedes did a decent job. But no one, not Amber Riley, not Jennifer Hudson, can sing Whitney like Whitney. And, unfortunately, we'll never hear that voice again. Rest in peace, Whitney. We'll always love you.

But on a much happier note, eventually the "Glee Project" kid aka Teen Jesus decides "love is love" and the God Squad sings a mashup of "Cherish/Cherish" to Brittany. Yay for equality!

Finn and Rachel announce their engagement to the glee club and they received mixed reactions. Kurt and Quinn are definitely not on Team Finnchel Wedding...and neither are Rachel's parents, who are played by Jeff Goldblum (love!) and Brian Stokes Mitchell, who are trying to stop the wedding of Finnchel. They invite Finn's parents over for dinner.

And for dessert? Teenage lovemaking. No, seriously, Finn's mom packed him an overnight bag. Basically, their parents are trying to get them realize marriage isn't always sunshine, rainbows and sprinkles.

Finn and Rachel have a little squabble because Finn needs to use the bathroom during Rachel's time-consuming bedroom ritual, which includes an ice bath for her face, of course. Anywho, they kiss and make up, just in time to go to the Sugar Shack. How sweet. But apparently their parents' experiement backfired because the wedding has been moved up to May, right after nationals. Oops.

But before Sugar's party, Kurt received an invitation from his secret admirer, who has been sending him Valentine's Day cards all week. Kurt naturally assumes it's Blaine...but it's not. It's Dave Karofsky, as in the kid who used to bully Kurt. He confesses his love for Kurt, but Kurt lets him down gently.

And we end our evening at Sugar Shack with Blaine's triumphant return and "Love Shack," which, for the record, is my second favorite song of all time. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!