The show has set up an outdoor stage and we see all this season's eliminated contestants and pros plus the troupe before the finalists are introduced.
Next is a recap of last night - read what I wrote last night if you want to know what happened.
Although, we do see that Tom Bergeron gave some encouraging words to Noah Galloway backstage before his freestyle and we learn how they got all that fake facial hair off Riker Lynch so quickly. They also show Rumer Willis's proud papa Bruce Willis - the clip Erin Andrews was calling for last night.
Apparently Twitter chose Riker Lynch & Allison Holker to reprise their freestyle. Huh. Maybe Noah's fans aren't on Twitter.
Back from commercial, Riker & Allison are dancing what looks like a samba on the outside stage. Is this their fusion dance and live TV missed the intro? No, wait, here's Erin to explain. Apparently that was just a back-from-commercial bumper.
Erin mentioned earlier that she was wearing flats tonight and you can see them in this outdoor interview. Smart girl, our Erin, for a night she's going to be running around everywhere.
Redfoo is back to perform his song "Juicy Wiggle." He's more singing than dancing but his former partner Emma Slater's out there wiggling for all she's worth.
After a quick recap of weeks 1-3, Charlotte McKinney & Keo Motsepe are back. Her dancing has not improved in her time away from the show. But the dancing crabs are back so it's all good.
Back from commercial, we have last season's first and second place couples, Alfonso Ribeiro & Witney Carson and Sadie Robertson & Mark Ballas. Eventually Witney and Mark leave the stage so it's Alfonso and Sadie dancing together. Good for them.
Tom Bergeron then announces that Alfonso is the new host of "America's Funniest Home Videos." Whoa. Good for him, I guess - should be a steady gig.
Suzanne Somers is back with Tony Dovolani for an encore of their "Copacabana" number.
The "Not Good Lip Reading" segment is actually pretty funny. My favorite might be when Tom "says": "We've sold 29 bearded chickens worldwide." My second favorite is Erin to Tom: "And who chooses you? My rat chose you."
Robert Herjavec & Kym Johnson are talking to Tom before their cha cha. Robert still has pancake hands. But they're having fun and not dancing for scores, so who cares?
Jason Derulo comes on to perform "Want to Want Me." His voice is shaky enough at times to convince me he's actually singing live. Emma Slater gets a pretty prominent role in the accompanying dance. Get it, Emma!
Amy Purdy & Derek Hough are on stage dancing with Noah Galloway & Sharna Burgess and there's a small moment when Amy & Noah are dancing together by themselves.Pretty awesome, actually.
Aw, Chris Soules and Witney Carson redo their "Footloose" routine. My only complaint about this is that I wish they'd done it to "Let's Hear It for the Boy" which is the song behind the Willard montage in the movie. Also, Chris has had approximately eight gallons of self tanner applied to his torso tonight.
After a recap of "Most Memorable Year," Disney night, and Spring Break week, Nastia Liukin, Derek Hough, and Sasha Farber reprise their Charleston to guest performer Andy Grammer's song, "Honey, I'm Good" - you know, the subway car routine. Hearing this song once was enough for me. I'd rather they'd redone their Disney routine.
There's a silly fake movie trailer for "Dance Hard" starring Tony Dovolani, since as Tom admits, they couldn't afford the real Bruce Willis. The funniest part might be at the end when the voiceover guy says, "This movie will never be seen by anyone."
Rumer & Val put their disco duds to use for some "Turn the Beat Around" action coming back from commercial. I like how much dancing we're seeing tonight.
Willow Shields & Mark Ballas are doing an encore of their "Alice in Wonderland" number which means I have to deal with nightmare bunny Ballas again. Thanks, show.
Oh goodie - dress rehearsal bloopers! Lots of sticking out tongues. Charlotte clearly has a point where she doesn't understand the concept of "dress rehearsal" and has to keep asking, "Is this real life," until Erin says flatly, "No, this is fake."
A girl group called Fifth Harmony performs inside while the female pros dance outside. The gist of the song seems to be, "Give it to me, I'm worth it." I do not think Susan B. Anthony ever dreamed this particular dream for my gender. Catchy song, though.
The male pros are all dancing in unclosed leather vests but halfway through they rip off the vests and it turns into a little bit of "Magic Mike." Erin wastes no time putting herself in the middle of the shirtless guys post-dance. She's no dummy.
Sia is here to perform "Elastic Heart" while Derek and Julianne Hough dance, alongside a couple of kids. It's all very artsy and Sia does her usual face hiding thing during her performance. I'm distracted by the bedspread on the bunk bed for the little girl. I'm pretty sure it's one I've been eyeing at Ikea.
Julianne gets hoisted up by a ceiling fan at one point and I'm sure that's SYMBOLIC and MEANS SOMETHING. Bah. Take me back to the shirtless men.
Then we get a quick recap of Eras Night, America's Choice & Trios week, and the Semifinals. Highlight: Bruno falling off his chair and Julianne's Bruno impression. Also, I get teary-eyed all over again at Len Goodman's dance with Nastia. Oh, and they show Noah's proposal to his girlfriend again.
Patti LaBelle and Artem Chigvintsev are back for another round of "In Da Club." They've let Charlotte be the champagne girl but she's wearing the same costume as her earlier dance. Hee. It's like she's not even worth a second costume or just really likes that other one too much to change.
They ask the eliminated contestants about the finalists and nobody says anything that interesting, except for Keo saying of Rumer, "I knew after her first dance she would be a finalist," and Robert also saying of Rumer recording her own dance music for this week, "How much talent does that woman have?"
I like that he called her a woman and not a girl. It's a small thing, but it made me think very well of Robert.
The couples got their music and styles only after last night's show.
Noah Galloway & Sharna Burgess
Cha Cha / Argentine Tango
The first line of their song is, "Like a soldier on the battlefield." Really, show? You're not even trying to hide the fact that you're goosing things for Noah now, are you? I think it had more Argentine tango than cha cha because that way they can sneak in more lifts.
Len doesn't actually comment on the dance, instead saying to Noah, "You've given so much to America, why shouldn't they give you the mirror ball?"
Bruno Tonioli says Noah is one of the most inspirational people he's ever shared a stage with. Carrie Ann Inaba is so sad that's the last time they'll see him dance.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9, Len: 9, Julianne: 9, Bruno: 9
Riker Lynch & Allison Holker
Riker says he feels like he's done things he'd never thought he could do and he'll miss Allison when the show is over.
I guess the lifts are allowable because of the salsa part of the fusion, huh? I'm impressed they quickstep to this song because it feels like the wrong tempo for it. Also, Allison's finally let Riker wear his hair like he does in the off hours and he's wearing a bedazzled bandanna.
Oh, Riker, honey, no.
Bruno compliments Riker on his outstanding
range. Carrie Ann calls their dances "innovative." Len dubs Riker "The Boy Who Brings Joy."
Scores: Carrie Ann: 10, Len: 10, Julianne: 10, Bruno: 10
Rumer Willis & Val Chmerkovskiy
Foxtrot / Paso Doble
Rumer says this has been the best experience of her life and she's a totally different person than she was a few months ago. She and Val are so cute together - like, not in a romantic way but as friends.
I'm really impressed with how Val has woven together the two very different dance styles in this routine. Rumer's sisters are going nuts in the audience afterward.
Bruno says Rumer is on top of the game. He goes big arms in his praise. Carrie Ann calls her the "real deal" and says they saved the best for last.
Len says Rumer is as good as anyone that has ever been on Dancing with the Stars. Julianne says they (the judges) have been the toughest on Rumer because they could see the talent in her from the beginning.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 10, Len: 10, Julianne: 10, Bruno: 10
So, your total judges' scores for this week are as follows:
Rumer & Val: 120
Riker & Allison: 120
Noah & Sharna: 108
Patti LaBelle is back and in a new wig to serenade the three finalist couples. She's still got the pipes.
At long last, some results. Third place goes to: Noah & Sharna. I'm actually surprised by that. I thought his voting base would get him past one of the other couples for sure.
Now I'm super-conflicted and tense about who's going to win. I'd be happy with either one, but I think I have a slightly more emotional pull toward a Rumer win.
Ooh, I just realized either way, we get a pro as winner who's not a repeat winner. (And that would have been true of Sharna as well.) I also just realized that since both these final two couples got perfect judges' scores this week it really is down totally to the fan vote.
And the winner is ... Rumer & Val! There's a rush to the stage of the other dances to Rumer & Val and Rumer's sisters are going nuts in the audience.
After a quick interview with Riker & Allison, Tom hands the trophy to Rumer & Val. Val looks happy but Tony Dovolani looks even happier FOR him.
What seemed to start out as a lackluster season turned into a real competition by the end and since the show's been renewed, so I'll see y'all next season!