So, tonight we find out who's making it into next week's finale! (It's also the 300th episode of "Dancing with the Stars.")
And this is the next to last results show I'll ever recap, given the announcement that in the fall, there will no longer be a separate results show. I'm not feeling good about that, but we'll see.
The show starts with five pro couples in a routine and then they're joined by five more couples. In case you had any doubt who the stars of this show really are, Derek Hough and Mark Ballas are choreographed at the front of the dancers during an extended section of the number.
After a rehash of last night's show, we get some results right away. And, BOOM, Jacoby's in the finals.
So, with three perfect score dances last night, who gets the encore? It's Kellie and Derek. Good call, even if I wouldn't have minded seeing Jacoby do that exuberant Lindy Hop again.
The spotlight dancer tonight, set some sort of Guinness World Record last month. Her name is Sophia Lucia, and she's 10 years old and from San Diego. I presume we're about to find out about the record and perhaps even get a demonstration of it. She does dance training 40 hours a week. Dang, kid. Slow down. Play some Barbies or something.
Aha! On March 4, Sophia set the record for the most consecutive pirouettes. She did 55! If nothing else, it's impressive she doesn't throw up from all the spinning.
Chelsie Hightower comes in tells Sophia she and three other women will be dancing with Sophia on the show tonight. At least two of those women are Witney and Lindsay. Sophia is a bouncy little thing in a yellow fringed dress and you better believe there's a truckload of pirouettes in the routine. Stick with what got you there, kid. At the very end, she appears to be wearing two different shoes. Is she, like, a football kicker or something? Like that's her extra special spinning shoe she changes into just for the big finish? I'm fascinated.
For our next filler segment, the stars and dancers are given cameras. Highlights:
•••• Derek reminds Kellie of her brother. Her 12-year-old brother.
•••• Ingo is as shocked as anybody that he’s made it this far.
•••• Jacoby farts in Karina’s general direction.
Interviews with Brooke: Jacoby's cool with his mom making and bringing her own "10" paddle. Aly is a bangle bracelet kleptomaniac. After Brooke admits she's taken home some over the years, Tom quips, "I'm surrounded by spray tan kleptomaniacs." And then as he's introducing The Wanted, he says "I stole their CD just last week."
The Wanted are singing and it's a ballad so I immediately lose interest. They appear to quite possibly be singing live, so good for them. The dancers dancing during the song must be doing contemporary because the female dancer is wearing a nightgown and no shoes. Oh, wait! On closer inspection, she's wearing some kind of slipper dance shoes that are perfectly matched to her skin tone. This pleases me greatly.
I had a whole rant here I just deleted. Let's say, "Childhood hunger is bad." The Wanted agree with that statement, as do I. We differ in our thoughts about a solution.
Avril Lavigne is 28 and still dressing like a 15-year-old Hot Topic goth. Oh, this song is called, "Here's to Never Growing Up." Thanks for pre-empting my joke, Avril.
Clips from last night: Carrie Ann calls herself deaf, dumb, and claims to have no memory. So she's got all that going for her. Before they went on stage, Derek made fun of Kellie's accent. Kellie would have liked to have done better on their flamenco.
Results: Kellie & Derek are going to the finals. Zendaya & Val are in jeopardy. WHAT?!! WHAT?? I hope the oddball quickstep doesn't boot her this week. I will be LIVID. L-I-V-I-D.
Tom gives us a kleptomania update – Kellie plans on stealing her wig from their Argentine tango. They better start nailing things down.
Sharna Burgess and Gleb Savchenko are doing a contemporary routine that looks for all the world like a Harlequin cover while Christina Grimmie sings. I actually kind of like the song ("Take Care") once the tempo picks up.
Highlights from last night from Ingo & Kym and Aly & Mark. Ingo interviews that he pretty much knows he's headed home, or should be, tonight. Ingo & Kym are in jeopardy while Aly & Mark are safe.
Tom almost misses a cue – he seems giddy tonight. Three hundred episodes will make you punchy.
Oh, we get the "While not necessarily the bottom two" disclaimer. Ingo & Kym are the eliminated couple. I think even they are happy to be eliminated. He's modest enough to know his skill level.