Tonight is "Party Anthem" night, which means earworms aplenty.
Redfoo, from LMFAO, is a guest judge. In case you find it difficult to call a grown man "Redfoo," his actual name is Stefan Gordy, as he's the youngest son of Motown founder Berry Gordy, Jr.
The entrance song this week is "Party in the U.S.A." by Miley Cyrus, and it's got a carnival theme. So of course the Chmerkovskiy brothers are in leather letterman jackets with no shirts on underneath.
Erin Andrews is back in her regular garb of sleek and chic and I feel better.
After Tom Bergeron does a treeeeemendous job of rolling the initial R in his name, Redfoo enters to "Party Rock Anthem." Redfoo is wearing knee-length sequined shorts,a red leather jacket with sequin and leather accents, lens-less white rhinestone studded glasses,and no shirt. This man is 38 years old. Tom calls Redfoo "the only guest judge to make Bruno look like an accountant."
NeNe and Tony are safe.
NeNe Leakes & Tony Dovolani, Salsa
"Hot in Herre," from Nelly
In rehearsal footage, NeNe's barefoot; Tony is in sneakers, and she towers over him. Which is curious, given that Google says she's 5'10" and he's 6'1". SOMEBODY'S lyin'.
NeNe's got the hip action for sure, but her footwork and legs are so imprecise. Wonder if the judges will mention that?
Len Goodman tells NeNe that if she wants to go further, she'll need to work on her technique and then mentions her footwork. HA! Len gets me.
Bruno Tonioli, wearing a sequined tuxedo jacket, rips it off to reveal a skintight spandex t-shirt. I think I'd like the shirt better without the giant logo in the center. Bruno says the footing was shaky, but the momentum of her hips carried her.
Tom asks about Bruno's "nipples popping," to which Bruno responds, "If you got it, flaunt it." This ballroom is going wild early tonight.
I love how awkward Tony gets when he's shirtless. It's rather endearing, especially since his torso is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Redfoo: 9; Len: 8; Bruno: 8
Redfoo's paddle has pink and black tiger stripes on it. That seems inappropriate.
We're danced back in to "Party Anthem" night with "Do You Love Me?" by The Contours. If you're of a certain age, that song is forever associated with "Dirty Dancing."
James & Peta are safe, but Candace & Mark are in jeopardy.
Candace Cameron Bure & Mark Ballas, Cha Cha Cha
"I Love It," from Icona Pop
Aw, man. I LOVE this song and Mark got it. Boo.
Mark lays it out on the line in rehearsal: "The cha cha requires sexy hip moves and if you're not willing to do that, you're not going to get good scores."
I would, no joke, wear Candace's dress to a real function in my real life. If I didn't have such a function to go to, I would create one.
OK, I give Mark a lot of crap over his shoes, but I covet these shiny silver lace-ups he's wearing. They need to get into my wardrobe.
HA! When they show NeNe after the dance, she's giving the tiniest, most polite of little golf claps for Mark & Candace. I LOVE IT.
Bruno says Candace's foot placement is much better and there are moments of brilliance, but then he can see a switch go on and off and she's stopping herself. Redfoo loves her outfit too. Maybe I should rethink my style aesthetic.
Len says Candace must've worked a lot on her leg action because it was clean. Now he wants her to be more rhythmic with her arms.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Redfoo: 8; Len: 8; Bruno: 8
James Maslow & Peta Murgatroyd, Quickstep
"You're the One that I Want," from "Grease"
More backup dancers. My feelings about this are well-documented. Aw, Peta's skirt has her initials on it. Also, this may be the most fabric we've ever seen Peta wear. There's a crinoline!
Carrie Ann Inaba says James could be a little more precise with his footwork. Redfoo compares them to crabs. In a good way. Len doesn't like the technique, says James's knees were flexing too much and claims there was a rule infraction when they went into "shadow position." I don't know what that is, but it sounds like a hanging offense. "Speed came in and style went out."
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Redfoo: 9; Len: 8; Bruno: 9
One thing about using the regular pro dancers for these "Macy's Stars of Dance" performances is that it probably saves the show money. Which they then spend on giant dry-ice-shooting Lego-like robots.
Meryl & Maks are safe. Duh. Danica and Val are in jeopardy and I call some BULL---- if Danica goes home before Candace. THEY'RE SECOND PLACE ON THE LEADERBOARD.
Danica McKellar & Valentin Chmerkovski, Cha Cha Cha
"I Wanna Dance with Somebody," from Whitney Houston
Yikes! Danica just put her heel up near Val's ear. Holy flexibility, Batman. Danica's foot flicks are so precise.
Forgive me for not recapping what Redfoo is saying, but most of it is inconsequential. Len says this was the best dance of the night so far. Bruno says it was a very difficult cha cha cha. You can see Val whisper "I'm sorry" in Danica's ear.
They cut to NeNe clapping again and she's slightly more enthusiastic, but it still looks like it's only obligatory. Maybe stop showing her, directors?
Up in the kiss'n'cry, Val is still straightening out Danica's hair and grooming her. Then he starts braiding her hair. Erin comments on this and Val says when he's nervous, he braids things. Erin quips, "What do you do when you're calm, give a perm?" Hee.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Redfoo: 9; Len: 9; Bruno: 9
Back from commercial, they're playing "Play that Funky Music" by Wild Cherry and I swear the band has either changed, or is slurring, the words, "White boy." Huh.
Meryl Davis & Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Tango
"Feel So Close," from Calvin Harris
Maks is frustrated in rehearsal and it's making him curse a lot. It also has him wearing dropped crotch leggings. Or maybe that's the source of his frustration -- someone needs his nappy changed.
Meryl's costume is GORGEOUS. it's very art deco -- a lacy, fitted, almost leotard/teddy-like top with pleated wide leg pants on the bottom. You have to be as skinny as Meryl to wear it, but a modern Katherine Hepburn would wear it in a second. (Maybe only in the bedroom and not out in public, but still.)
Len says Meryl is the first celebrity that can keep up with Maks. He then natters on about a feather step and foxtrot and how that made it special. Bruno says the choreography was incredible. Carrie Ann is speechless, but then she says something. Because truly speechless doesn't work well on live TV. Carrie Ann says Meryl's technique is incredible and she looks like a pro. She tells Maks it's his best choreography ever.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 10; Redfoo: 10; Len: 10; Bruno: 10
Maks tells Erin how Meryl is pulling these performances out of him, "She's holding my hand, no one ever asked me to do that before." Erin looks back at Tony and says, "So that's our problem." Tony silently comes forward and stands next to Maks, holding his hand. Snerk.
Drew Carey & Cheryl Burke, Tango
"Superfreak," from Rick James
Cheryl says in rehearsal that she's bringing in Lindsey and Witney to get Drew that real "pimp status." Ugh. You mean Drew is now a man who profits off the bodies of women, using fear and violence to intimidate them into not leaving? Sorry, this is my old fogey side coming out. PIMP SHOULDN'T BE A COMPLIMENT. Besides this song is about a woman who's exuberant in her sexuality and the man who is in awe of her. If anyone should have the "pimp style" here, it should be Cheryl.
I would've whooped and hollered with joy if Cheryl had come out in beaded braids like Rick James and a neon spandex bodysuit. They took this routine to some sort of '30s/'40s zoot suit pimp/flapper place and it shoulda gone straight to early '80s disco.
Bruno says the technique was a little all over the place. Carrie Ann felt like the best parts of Drew came back. Len loves Drew's commitment. He points out a few mistakes, but says he loves his commitment. Drew says he's like "a dad at a wedding," yo which Bruno adds, "after a few drinks."
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Redfoo: 9; Len: 7; Bruno: 8
Cheryl compliments Drew, says "Not bad for a guy without dance experience" and high-fives him. Then a quick cut to Meryl. I enjoy thinking that was an intentional commentary on Meryl's total ringer status.
Back from commercial, Redfoo is "singing" and everybody in the audience, including judges, has been given neon and/or glowing props. It's jarring to see Len Goodman in rave mode.
Tom is now sporting the black version of Redfoo's silly glasses. This amuses me greatly. Also, Tom in glasses gives me a whole new way to have a crush on him.
Charlie White & Sharna Burgess, Cha cha cha
"Everybody Dance Now," from C + C Music Factory featuring Freedom Williams
I would have never thought I'd see a ballroom dance routine to this song. And yet, Sharna's choreography and their dancing is making it work. For the last part of the song, they dance in blacklight and the white costumes with neon accents make it really cool. We are all impressed Charlie's lily-white skin doesn't glow as brightly as his suit.
Carrie Ann says his hip action has improved greatly. She then says something about his feet never leaving the floor and I think, "Almost like he's on skates?" Len didn't like the blacklight part because he's "old and grumpy." At least he knows his limits. Bruno says the style was spot-on all the way through, even with the gimmicks, and compliments the many difficult changes in tempo.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Redfoo: 9; Len: 9; Bruno: 9
There's been a lot of talk about Charlie's busy schedule this week due to "Stars on Ice." Ummmm, isn't Meryl on the same schedule? And we didn't hear a word about her schedule this week. EXCUSES, Charlie.
It's been so much fun tonight hearing announcer Alan Dedicoat say "Redfoo" in his sedate British accent. (Fun fact: because Dedicoat announces the National Lottery results on BBC One, he has the nickname, "Voice of the Balls.")
Of the dancer gyrating on top of the judges' table post-commercial break, Tom says, "Why does he have a mirrorball box on his head? Because we lost the mirrorball lampshade." I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
Amy Purdy & Derek Hough, Jive
"Shout," from The Isley Brothers
This song immediately makes me think of "Animal House." Amy says this song makes her think of dancing at a wedding. And that right there is the difference in the two Amys.
The routine starts out with Amy at the altar with a groom who isn't Derek. Derek rushes in to object, mouthing the "Now, waaaaaaaaaaaait a minute" line of the song. Amy rips off the long skirt of her "wedding dress" to reveal a flouncy mini-skirt. She's also wearing over-the-knee lace stockings. I presume that's to hide where her prosthetics join her legs.
There are a couple of times where Amy looks like she loses her footing due to the artificial legs, which is the first time she's done that all season. Near the end of the routine, she executes a cartwheel.
Redfoo redeems himself entirely to me when he becomes the first judge not to say something about Amy's "inspiration." Bruno proposes to Amy and then calls her a "real life superhero." Blargh. Carrie Ann is full of compliments but did notice the same slip-up Len mentioned earlier.
Amy tells Tom the waltz last week was actually more challenging, because it required ankle flexibility, while this week used more of her hip flexors. I love hearing her talk so matter-of-factly and technically about the physical and technical side of the dances she does.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Redfoo: 10; Len: 9; Bruno: 10
I'm happy for their scores, but I think if two judges spy a serious mistake (which I also saw) in the routine, you shouldn't get 10s.
Amy & Derek are immediately announced as safe. Then Danica and Val. So it's down to Drew or Candace.
Booo, Drew is gone. I'm gonna miss him.
Meryl & Maks: 40
Amy & Derek: 38
Danica & Val: 36
Charlie & Sharna: 36
James & Peta: 35
NeNe & Tony: 33
Candace & Mark: 32