The introduction to last night's "Dancing With the Stars" Season 22 finale has all the stars dancing in various locations around and even on top of the studio. I hope the rooftop dancers got hazard pay.
There's a bit where a backup dancer tries to hike the ball to Doug Flutie and the snap is botched! (It really was the center/backup dancer's fault, though.) They cut to inside the ballroom and there's a bald dude up in the skybox and I have absolutely no idea who it is. Wait! Apparently that is Pitbull?!! Huh.
Jodie Sweetin is no dummy — she's dancing inside and with a bunch of hot guys holding her in the air. Marla Maples is back to do a cartwheel and it's still impressive.
Tom Bergeron gives us a little taste of his "Robot" dance moves while Erin Andrews vamps with some of the hot male dancers. I'm not a huge fan of Erin's dress tonight because it's essentially a leotard with a sheer overlay. If it were actually lined, the dress would be elegant and gorgeous. As is, you're focused on the top of her thighs, given where the camera cuts off. I mean, maybe that was the goal?
When we see the scoreboard, it only has the totals from last night. I could've sworn they said Monday night that the scores and votes from last week were coming forward to this week.
Outside, Fleur East performs her debut single while Kim Fields and Sasha Farber, along with troupe members, act as her backup dancers.
I'm not recapping the clips from shows earlier in the season. We have a handy archive here if you need refreshing.
Paige VanZant and Mark Ballas are back to do their "Steel Cage Paso Doble" from Week 3.
Then there's a quick segment with Doug Flutie, Von Miller and Antonio Brown. It seems that they've taken outtakes from the regular interview segments and spliced them in with ridiculous questions from Kenny Mayne. It works for me. Especially since we didn't get "Dance Center" this year.
Back from commercial, Tom is in the control room and has longtime director of the show, Alex Rudzinski, in a headlock/hug while the poor guy is just trying to do his job. Rudzinski is leaving the show after this season and that may be a bigger deal than we'd like. Whoever comes in has some big shoes to fill.
Bindi Irwin, Emmett Smith, and Shawn Johnson (all former winners) are in the ballroom to give some soundbites to Tom. Bindi wins because she says "sparkles" in her cute Australian accent.
Fifth Harmony performs. It's got a weird quality to it, like they're using a different camera than usual or something? Maybe it was actually recorded earlier?
Tom's dressed up like Uncle Sam to promote Season 23 in Fall 2016. USA! USA! USA!
Back outside, the female pros and troupe dancers get a routine that involves them taking off clothes as they go along. I'd be annoyed except I feel sure they'll give us the guys doing the same thing later.
Ginger Zee and Val Chmerkovskiy are back to do their Argentine tango, which may have been my favorite of Ginger's all season. I keep meaning to track down that gorgeous cover of "Telephone."
Antonio Brown and Sharna Burgess are performing an encore of their Aladdin jive and I'm angry all over again that Sharna isn't wearing harem pants and is instead in Sandy-at-the-end-of-"Grease" leggings. Harrumph.
Oh, hey, here's a preview of the Chmerkovskiy brothers' show. When Erin asks Val what fans can hope to see, he says, "They can see a dream come true." When Erin raises her eyebrows at that, he clarifies it's their dream come true. Erin puts Maks on the spot by pointing out that both his brother and his fiancee (Peta Murgatroyd) are in the finale. Maks parries that thrust with something about their family being the best family. I do kind of enjoy the brothers.
Jodie Sweetin and Keo Motsepe are back to do their "church jive" that earned them a perfect score in Week 8. Earlier, during clips from dress rehearsals throughout the season, they showed a clip of Erin saying something like, "So it's our first elimination, which means Keo's going home." Man, if I were Keo, after the things they've edited in this season from his partners, the judges, and now a co-host, I wouldn't be expecting an invite back for Season 23.
And now a quick segment with Von Miller hosting "Are You Smarter than a Dancer?" with contestants Witney Carson and Lindsay Arnold — they are proudly holding up the "dumb blonde" stereotype. Von actually might have a future in some sort of hosting/comedy. Tom tries to comfort Lindsay and Witney by telling them he crashed and burned on "Celebrity Jeopardy!" a few years ago. He came in third, a little behind Elizabeth Perkins and way behind Aisha Tyler. Aisha's a pretty smart cookie, so don't feel so bad, Tom.
Back from commercial and on the outside stage, Witney and Artem Chigvintsev are in bride and groom drag while Dan + Shay perform. Moving inside, Wanyá Morris and Lindsay are reprising their Charleston. I so loved this routine. It was peak Wanyá.
Now it's time for the male dancers to do their group number. They are wearing pants and jackets and long sleeve shirts and this is all too much fabric. Antonio and Von join them for a little bit near the end, just in time for all the guys to pop their shirts open. THANK YOU!
Pitbull performs on the outside stage, which gives him a reason to wear sunglasses and he looks SO MUCH more like himself. It's like Tom Selleck and the mustache: You can recognize Selleck without the facial hair, but with it recognition occurs much faster.
Erin teases Pitbull about not being asked to be a backup dancer and then asks if he'll come back as a guest judge next season. He ducks and dodges that commitment like a pro.
Some never-before-seen clips reveal that Wanyá sweats a lot, Marla is stinky because she uses hippie deodorant, Ginger accidentally grabbed Val's private parts (through his pants) in rehearsals and found out he doesn't wear underwear, Mischa Barton had a wardrobe malfunction in rehearsal in which her bra unsnapped (and she wasn't wearing a shirt over it), and Antonio flosses his teeth a lot.
The whole cast, minus the three finalists, is back for some sort of summer-themed number. It makes me happy to see all these dudes in shorts. And then the crab costume (with Sasha inside) makes its triumphant return! I love how they're never letting that joke die.
The judge's montage has Carrie Ann saying that Ginger's confidence isn't steady, Paige doesn't always connect with the audience, and Nyle rushes ahead of the music. Carrie Ann grimaces at having said that knowing he can't hear the music, but she correctly defends herself by saying it's true. The judges all said nice things too but, c'mon, those are boring.