10 Awkward Questions with ... Baltimore's The Big Chee
By By Jordan Bartel
Apr 24, 2012 at 4:34 PM
You may tune into The Big Chee Show for the insightful sports analysis and interviews with athletes, but you should really stick around for the bro chat.
Sprinkled in every weekly broadcast (5-6 p.m. Fridays, ESPN 1300), host and Federal Hill resident Chris Cichon (The Big Chee, a nickname derived from the pronunciation of his last name, "Chee-on") and his bro crew talk everything from Baltimore bro bars to bro hairstyles. "[The show's for] bros like myself who like watching sports while having a cold one with their fellow bros. I don't put an age on that because I believe a bro can be from 18 until you're 80," said Cichon, 24, a Towson University graduate from Hillsborough, N.J.
Bro, we have some serious questions.
Are you born a bro or is it a choice? Bros are developed through critical choices made throughout life. Bro-esque qualities growing up like playing sports and playing spin the bottle with girls are early signs of a developing bro. I chose to join a fraternity my first semester at Towson, which put me on the fast track to becoming a seasoned bro in college.
You're a Dolphins, Nets, and Yankees fan. But which Baltimore athlete do you think has the most bro-potential to hang out with you? First off, I am no longer a Nets fan. As a Jersey-born guy, they broke my heart with their decision to move to Brooklyn. I root for Towson slum Gary Neal's Spurs. However, there are a lot of guys playing here who have awesome bro-potential. I saw Adam Jones out by Ropewalk one night, got a solid bro vibe from him. Mark Reynolds has a great bro flow. But Ray Rice wins this hands down. I saw this guy breaking it down at the No. 1 Bro Spot in Baltimore, Mad River, so I'd love to kick it with this bro.
What's the difference between a Jersey bro and a Baltimore bro, or is it possible to be both? While Baltimore and Jersey bros may differ in food choices (Baltimore bros love crabs, Jersey bros love pizza) and hairstyles (Baltimore bros love the flow, Jersey bros prefer the gel), bros are bros no matter where you call home.
Do you see it as your mission to make Baltimore a more bro-ish place?
Not my mission, but it is the mission of all bros in Baltimore to come together and make this a more "Bro-ish" city. Because a city full of bros will work hard, play hard and will improve the city's finances. We are the ones who celebrate life with $100 bar tabs at Mother's and dinners in Harbor East.
On a recent show, you mentioned a girl you've taken an interest in. What does the Big Chee look for in a lady? Give me a chase. If you like me right away and are too available, chances are the excitement will run out very quickly. I'm a man who likes curvy women and girly girls and I want you to be able to break it down on the dance floor with me at Mad River. I'm committed to the single life until I find this complete package.
Your entourage members all have nicknames. What would be mine? Well, you work for the Baltimore Sun, so I would assume you are a bro. But we'd have to throw a few back at one of the many Federal Hill establishments before I gave you a nickname. Nicknames are important; don't wanna half-ass it and sell you short.
Which regular habit of yours is the most un-bro like? As much as I talk about the importance of staying fit, I still smoke cigarettes. While I believe if a bro is in a social situation while crushing beers with his fellow bros and decides to have a cig is OK every now and then, to be addicted to cigs is not bro.
Which presidential candidate this year has had the most pro-bro policies? I've always considered Obama a bro. You can't be the most powerful man in the world and not be a bro. Rick Santorum was the anti-bro. He was anti the bro lifestyle completely. Herman Cain might have had the bro line of the year: "If you're not successful, look at yourself." It's too bad Chris Christie did not run for president though, because I would consider him the Bro King out of this group.
Is it appropriate to challenge another bro to a bro duel (aka a bro-off). And, if so, what's the bro's weapon of choice? The only time I would deem this appropriate would be over a sports team. In this case, there is only one way to resolve this conflict: a chugging contest. Us bros don't solve conflicts with weapons. We test each other's manhood with their ability to drink
You recently counted down the 10 best bars in the greater Baltimore area for bros. Seacrets was your top choice. How much preparation goes into a Big Chee visit to Ocean City? As I'm answering these questions [last week] I'm on a flight back from Florida. You better believe while I was there I was shirtless on the beach, getting my burn on so by Memorial Day weekend I will walk into Seacrets with a solid tan. I try and get in the gym twice a week while playing on two softball teams and volleyball to keep my physique on point. I've kept this gym routine going for a year. We're almost a month away from MDW. It's time for Maryland bros to kick it into gear.
Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b and firmly believes that the more awkward the question, the better. Email him at email@example.com or follow him on Twitter, @jordanbartel