This week's episode of "The Walking Dead" was especially quotey but not especially bitey.
Lots of characters dropped pearls of eloquent wisdom, but not many characters were bitten by zombies. Of course, that's not as big of a deal anymore, because cats are just getting all sickly and turning up as zombies without even getting munched on at this point.
It's like if you were playing "Tag" in the schoolyard and all of the sudden you were just "tagged" without being touched by anyone. You were just like, "Oh well, I'm 'it'."
Except, Hershel thinks he might have a solution in the form of some veterinary meds and that's why Daryl, Michonne, Bob and Tyreese go on a road trip in the Dodge Charger.
Daryl wants to listen to some Velvet Revolver or Three Doors Down or Strawberry Alarm Clock, so he fires up the tunes. To everyone's surprise, there is some chatter coming across the airwaves. Color me intrigued.
Can we just go away from these shows like "Breaking Bad" and "Game of Thrones" and "Walking Dead" where bad stuff is happening to people 24/7 and back to fun shows like "Gilligan's Island" where everything is lighthearted and full of wit and whimsy? Or do people like this?
Like before this show I had a pretty simple formula: watch "America's Funniest Videos" to laugh at men falling off of boats onto docks and into water, and watch "Cops" to watch people in their darkest hour and feel a little better about my lot in life.
Then this show came along and made me question my role as a television viewer.
Karen and that other guy were burned up in gasoline, and Rick and Tyreese get in a big fight over it. Rick busts up his hand by slamming it over Tyreese's eye and they're both worse for the wear. But they bro it out later and they still respect each other. Carol throws items around when talking about Karen, and later reveals that she killed'em.
Tyreese was shoveling pretty vigorously. He's obviously upset about something.
Hershel: "Listen dammit: you step outside, you risk your life. You take a drink of water, you risk your life, and, nowawdays, you breathe and you risk your life. Every moment now. You don't have a choice. The only thing you can choose is what what you're risking it for."
Winner: Hershel. Get some, Hershel!!!
BEST ZOMBIE KILL
When Carol stabbed a zombie in the side of the head like it was a meatball that she wanted to lunch on. Her knife had SO many handles. And her boots had SO many straps!
The one who was half the man he used to be and who was covered up in moss like he was some kind of nature boy super hero. I would like to camp with him and tell ghost stories as long as he didn't bite my back while I was asleep.
Zombies: All of the zombie kills were clustered up at the end of this episode. I counted 36, and the official Walking Dead Story Sync checked in at 37. It's pretty arbitrary, because they're ram-manning these abominations with their Dodge Charger, and the miscreants are hitting the deck, but was the thing merely crippled or was it mortally wounded? These questions don't really have answers in the zombocalypse. Let's say 37 for 137 on the season.
Humans: No one bought it this week, but a lot of people are spitting up blood when they cough, so their shelf life can't be great...we're stuck at 10 on the season.
A look ahead to next week's episode, "Indifference"
Rick and Carol enter a home to raid the medicine cabinet and they don't seem to want any funny business. But then some zombies stir up trouble, and well, that's "The Walking Dead"!!! Most of these zombies just don't seem like they want to listen to reason, they just want to eat.