Best week ever: Baltimore events, sports, music and movies

Kanye West, one half of the Throne
Kanye West, one half of the Throne (Getty)
MOVIES OPENING (Friday, unless otherwise noted)
The Help (Wednesday)
30 Minutes or Less
Another Earth
The Devil’s Double
Final Destination 5
Glee: The 3D Concert Movie

Bachelor Pad (season premiere; 8 p.m. Monday; ABC)
The Bling Ring (special; 8 p.m. Monday; Lifetime)
Single Ladies (season finale; 9 p.m. Monday; VH1)
Superheroes (special; 9 p.m. Monday; HBO)
Tia & Tamera (series debut; 9 p.m. Monday; Style)
Donna Decorates Dallas (series debut; 10 p.m. Monday; HGTV)
Sugar High (series debut; 10:30 p.m. Monday; Food)
Auction Kings (season premiere; 9 p.m. Tuesday; Discovery)
Crazy About Pippa (special; 9 p.m. Tuesday; TLC)
Gordon Ramsay’s F Word (season premiere; 9 p.m. Tuesday; BBC America)
I Escape: Real Prison Breaks (season premiere; 9 p.m. Tuesday; ID)
White Collar (mid-season finale; 9 p.m. Tuesday; USA)
Big Law: Deputy Butterbean (series debut; 10 p.m. Tuesday; ID)
Covert Affairs (mid-season finale; 10 p.m. Tuesday; USA)
Dirty Money (series debut; 10 p.m. Tuesday; Discovery)
Top Shot (season premiere; 10 p.m. Tuesday; History)
Gordon Ramsay’s Shark Bait (special; 11 p.m. Tuesday; BBC America)
Toddlers & Tiaras (mid-season finale; 10 p.m. Wednesday; TLC)
Jon Benjamin Has a Van (season finale; 10:30 p.m. Wednesday; Comedy Central)
Monday Night Football: Preseason: Seattle @ San Diego (special; 8 p.m. Thursday; ESPN)
So You Think You Can Dance (season finale; 8 p.m. Thursday; Fox)
Make Me Superhuman (special; 9 p.m. Thursday; NatGeo)
Extreme Chef (season finale; 10 p.m. Thursday; Food)
Russian Dolls (series debut; 10:30 p.m. Thursday; Lifetime)
NFL Preseason: Tampa Bay @ Kansas City (special; 8 p.m. Friday; Fox)
Karaoke Battle USA (series debut; 9 p.m. Friday; ABC)
Whale Wars (season finale; 9 p.m. Friday; Animal Planet)
Strike Back (series debut; 10 p.m. Friday; Cinemax)
Whale Wars: Reunion (special; 10 p.m. Friday; Animal Planet)
Lavell Crawford: Can a Brother Get Some Love? (special; 11 p.m. Friday; Comedy Central)
Doctor Who: Best of the Doctor (special; 9 p.m. Saturday; BBC America)
Doomsday Prophecy (special; 9 p.m. Saturday; Syfy)
Momster of the Bride (miniseries debut; 9 p.m. Saturday; Style)
Wrestlemania: The World Premiere (special; 9 p.m. Saturday; NBC)
CMA Music Festival: Country’s Night to Rock (special; 8 p.m. Sunday; ABC)
Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes (series finale; 8 p.m. Sunday; OWN)
Exorcist Files (special; 9 p.m. Sunday; Discovery)
In the Flow With Affion Crockett (series debut; 9 p.m. Sunday; Fox)
Food Network Star (season finale; 9 p.m. Sunday; Food)
Behind the Music (season finale; 10 p.m. Sunday; VH1)
The Great Food Truck Race (season premiere; 10 p.m. Sunday; Food)
High Stakes Sweepers (special; 10 p.m. Sunday;  TLC)
Lost and Delirious (special; 10 p.m. Sunday; Logo)
The Marriage Ref (season finale; 10 p.m. Sunday; NBC)

Fast Times at Ridgemont High [Blu-ray]
Jumping the Broom
Mars Needs Moms
Secret Diary of a Call Girl: The Final Season
Top Gear: The Complete Season 16
Your Highness

ALBUMS DROPPING (Tuesday; subject to change)
The Throne, “Watch the Throne” [Monday on iTunes; Friday CD Release]
Against Me, “White Crosses”
Drive A, “The World in Shambles”
Luke Bryan, “Tailgates & Tanlines”
Michael Ian Black, “Very Famous”
Pepper Rabbit, “Red Velvet Snowball”
Scattered Trees, “Sympathy”
The Horrors, “Skying Out”
Trivium, “In Waves”


RAMS HEAD LIVE: Beres Hammond (Tuesday); INXS/Berlin (Wednesday); WyckedAlways Better Tomorrow (Thursday); Baltimore Shredfest 2 (Friday and Saturday)

1ST MARINER: America Idol Live Tour (Thursday)

PIER SIX: Melissa Etheridge (Tuesday); Chicago (Sunday)

MERRIWEATHER POST PAVILION: Return To Forever IV (Tuesday); My Morning Jacket/Neko Case (Friday) O.A.R. (Saturday)

SONAR: The All Stars Tour (Tuesday); Sean Price and Guilty Simpson (Wednesday); Welcome 2 the Court Vol. 10 (Thursday); BSM rap series “Come and Get It” (Friday); Manifest presents: Release (Saturday)

GOLDEN WEST: Purling Hiss (Thursday); Joan of Arc (Friday); Iceage (Saturday)

BOURBON STREET: Junior Doctor/Shirock (Tuesday); Car Party (Friday);

METRO GALLERY: Tally Hall (Sunday)

OTTOBAR: Anarbor, Conditions, et al (Monday); Proclamation, et al (Tuesday); Insubordination Fest 2011 (Thursday-Saturday); Gang Green, et al (Sunday)

POWER PLANT LIVE: Mr. Greengenes (Friday)

RECHER: Candlebox (Tuesday); Stacked Like Pancakes, et al (Friday); The Ravyns (Saturday); Shoutwaitandgo, et al (Sunday)

9:30 CLUB: Queensryche 30th Anniversary Tour (Tuesday); Volbeat (Wednesday); Brantley Gilbert (Thursday); Kendrick Lamar (Friday); Junior League Band (Saturday)

JIFFY LUBE LIVE: Blink 182/My Chemical Romance (Friday); Tim McGraw/Luke Bryan/The Band Perry (Saturday)

BLACK CAT: Mittenfields (Monday); The Caribbean (Tuesday); Screen Vinyl Image (Wednesday); Couch Night (Thursday); Olivia Mancini & The Mates (Friday); Cryfest (Saturday); Backdoor (Saturday); Alkaline Trio (Sunday; sold out)

ROCK & ROLL HOTEL: The Cool Kids (Tuesday); Kurt Vile and the Violators (Wednesday); Tally Hall (Friday)(; The Silver Liners (Saturday); Rock & Roll Hotel 5 Year Anniversary w/ Patrick Stump (Sunday)

O’s v. White Sox (Monday-Thursday; Camden Yards)
Baltimore Summer Restaurant Week continues (through Sunday; various city locations)
White Marlin Open (Monday-Friday; Harbour Island Marina, Ocean City)
Lobsterama (through Aug. 25; Gertrude’s, Baltimore Museum of Art)
Second Joey V. Memorial Golf Classic (Monday; Fairway Hills Golf Club; Columbia)
Films on the Pier — “Let Me In” (Wednesday; Broadway Pier, Fells Point)
B-52’s headline National Zoo’s outdoor concert fundraiser (Wednesday; National Zoo, Washington)
Preseason NFL: Ravens at Eagles (7:30 p.m. Thursday; NBC/WBAL, 98 Rock)
Baltimore Playwrights Festival premiere: “Abraham & Isaac” (Thursday, runs through Aug. 28; Theatrical Mining Company, Le Clerc Hall, College of Notre Dame)
5th Take Five! Annual Baltimore Improv Festival (Thursday-Sunday; Creative Alliance)
Comedian Josh Sneed (Thursday-Saturday; Baltimore Comedy Factory)
“Beautiful, Delicious, Nutritious” summer chef demo with John Shields (Thursday; Maryland Science Center)
Flicks from the Hill — “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” (Thursday; AVAM)
Comedian Godfrey (Thursday-Saturday; Magooby’s Joke House)
Little Italy Open Air Film Festival — “Nine” (Friday; Little Italy)
O’s v. Tigers (Friday-Sunday; Camden Yards)
Baltimore Playwrights Festival premiere: “Asking Questions” (Friday, runs through Aug. 28; Fells Point Corner Theater)
“The Milwood Elementary School PTA” playwright presentation (Saturday; Strand Theater)
Shiny Happy Things workshop by artist Bob Benson (Saturday; AVAM)
Second African American Authors Expo and Multi-Cultural Book Fair (Saturday; Doubtree Columbia)
FestAfrica 2011 (Saturday and Sunday; Veterans Plaza; Silver Spring Civic Center)
Bike and Wine Tour (Saturday and Sunday; Terrapin Adventures, Savage)
Beer and Fear (Sunday; Terrapin Adventures, Savage)
The Tim Green Quintent, jazz in the sculpture garden (Saturday; Baltimore Museum of Art)

Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b. Email him at jordan@bthesite.com or follow him on Twitter, @jordanbartel