I had always resisted truTV's primetime lineup. First, there's the network's slogan: "Not Reality. Actuality." It still confuses me.
Secondly, I'd seen promos for several of the shows and was pretty sure that all the highlighted squabbles had the potential to suck out my soul. But I caved. I watched and kept watching.
Now I'm addicted. Here's an overview of some of the best of truTv's pugilistic programming.
Watch it: 9 p.m. Tuesdays
What it's about: The Gold family owns American Jewelry and Loan off 8 Mile Road. Apparently, I missed this place on the last trip I never took to Detroit.
The main stars: The tanned, ruthless negotiator patriarch Les Gold; Seth Gold, Les' son and business partner; Ashley Broad, Les' daughter, store manager.
Favorite battle: Ashley: "I don't know if you can tell, but the purse is stained." Customer: "I don't want to talk to your pepperoni-looking ass!"
Tally: 3 (out of 5) punches: There are a few light moments, but the Seth vs. Ashley headache-inducing yelling matches are getting out of control.
Watch it: 10 p.m. Tuesdays
What it's about: You'd think storage-unit auctions wouldn't be dramatic. You'd be wrong.
The main stars: We often see traveling storage-unit buyer couple Brandon and Lori Bernier, who are ridiculously good at what they do.
Favorite battle: A movie director's unit forced Brandon and fellow bidder Jesse to throw down. "What'chu gonna do?! Hit me. Hit me," Jesse urges. Guys, it's just a storage unit.
Tally: 2 punches: It's oddly tense watching the bidders fight for could-be valuable stuff … and giving each other the stinkiest stink eyes you've ever seen.
Watch it: 9 p.m. Wednesdays
What it's about: A fearless car repo team that takes no gruff from deliquent BMW owners.
The main stars: Large and in charge Lou; Lou's sister, Sonia; mellow Froy; volatile Matt; beautiful/tough Lyndah.
Favorite battle: The team tried to take a car from a guy sumo wrestling in his front yard, and the dude made Lou violently sumo him for it. Side note. Any battle involving Sonia is a gem. Call me, Sonia.
Tally: 5 punches: Ouch! With an average of 24 fights per episode (a rough estimate), "Operation Repo" takes the rough-and-tumble cake.
SOUTH BEACH TOW
Watch it: Premieres 10 p.m. Wednesday
What it's about: Tremont Towing owns the gilded — and not-so gilded — streets of Miami.
The main stars: The Ashenoff family, which owns Tremont: Robert Sr., Robert Jr. and Christie, the dispatcher. Jerome and Eddie are the drivers. Oh, and someone named Jennifer Lopez is an executive producer.
Favorite battle: A jet-ski owner pulls a gun on Robert Sr. and Eddie. "I'll f---ing kill you!" he yells. Though it's hard to be afraid of a guy wearing a silk robe.
Tally: 4 punches: We've seen just one episode, but people in Miami do not play.
Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow him on Twitter, @jordanbartel