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'Survivor: One World' recap: Episode 6, 'Thanks for the Souvenir'

Previously: the new Salani was awesome, and the new Manono sucked.

Back at Manono after Tribal Council, Alicia and Colton can’t help gloating over the "blindside" they gave Monica; then they add to it by taunting Christina about how she has no alliance, and even if she makes it to the merge, she’ll be toast. And then they get downright mean, barely letting her sleep in the shelter. Christina believes that Alicia is “genuinely not a good person,” and I have to say that I agree with her. Let’s hope that she gets what’s coming for her, if there is any karma in the universe at all.

At Salani, they agree with me about Alicia. Kat even had a dream about Alicia trying to kill her. Treemail comes, and it says something about playing in the backyard and something sweet.

Reward challenge time! It involves bouncing a coconut off a trampoline and hitting a target. First tribe to get all five targets wins. There have been an awful lot of target-based challenges this season, haven't there? Maybe the challenge monkeys are afraid of another person hurting himself. Everybody misses a whole lot at the beginning; Alicia and Colton particularly suck. Why are they running their tribe, again? It’s close for a while, but in the end Salani wins again. And they win a whole lot of ice cream. Maybe Manono shouldn’t have gotten rid of Monica? I bet she would have done well at this challenge.

Oh, and Colton thinks Christina wasn’t trying at the challenge. Someone on the crew needs to replay him tape. He was less than useless at that challenge. Sigh. Colton makes me all stabby.  Can the rest of his tribe wise and up and vote him and Alicia out? Please?

Salani goes to a tiki-ish ice cream shop for reward. I think that much ice cream after a restrictive diet might make you sick. Especially with the amount they’re probably going to eat. Sabina says that having a break in routine re-energizes them. So does the metric ton of sugar you just ate. Sugar crash is going to be pretty bad.

Back at Manono, Colton is still harping on Christina not doing well at the challenge. And then he and Alicia are rude some more, and I’m not the only one who notices. Jonas is getting annoyed by them as well. Christina talks to him about voting Alicia out instead of her. She also bring up Alicia’s alliance with the women, and how Christina is better to take to the merge. Look at that, talking about the game and strategy without getting personal. And of course, Alicia has to come by to ruin it and accuse Christina of "talking smack." Oh, please, someone vote her out or I’m not going to make it through the season. I’ve watched a lot of "Survivor" over the years, and there haven’t been any contestants I’ve loathed more than Alicia and Colton.

After break, we’re back at Manono, again. Colton’s "brain hurts," and he’s resting his head in Christina’s lap. She’s being nicer to him than I would, pain or no. Oh, good, she’s being strategic. Damn it, Colton sees through it. Tarzan (who is a doctor) tells Colton that he’s dehydrated, but it could also be appendicitis, gall bladder or just gas. He’s in real pain, and as much as I don’t like him, I also don’t wish pain on anyone. He’s lying in the dirt, crying. 

Jeff come with the medical team to check Colton out. He can’t keep anything down, even water, and his pain is getting worse. His heart rate is also going up drastically. The medic thinks he has appendicitis, and it’s too risky to leave him out in the bush. Oh my goodness, if he goes to the hospital he’s out of the game. OH MY GOODNESS, HE’S LEAVING. (Sorry about the caps, people, but these are special circumstances.) Jonas, who is a nice guy, genuinely feels bad for Colton, because he knows how much he loves the game. Alicia, who is not nice, is thinking about how this affects her. 

By the way, Colton, maybe your appendix was trying to leave your body because it couldn’t stand to be around you, either. When your organs start to bail, maybe it’s the universe’s way of telling you to check yourself. (That’s complete bull, of course, because millions of perfectly nice people have to get their appendixes out every day; I’m just trying to give Colton a life lesson, here.)

Colton decides to keep the Immunity Idol as a souvenir. Ha, Alicia is super pissed about that. Jonas realizes, with Colton gone, that it would be a better idea to keep Christina, who has no alliance with the women, than Alicia, who does and is also mean and annoying.

Are Colton and Alicia going home in the same episode? That would restore my faith in this show and karma all at once.

Salani gets a Treemail notice that they have to go to Tribal Council tonight, even though no one has won or lost a challenge. They drive themselves nuts trying to figure out what’s going on.

Manono gets the same message, and Alicia is beginning to realize how very screwed she is. Tarzan, though, will apparently adopt Alicia but doesn’t like “Katrina” (Christina). They don’t know if they will have to vote, but Jonas, Christina, and Leif plan to vote for Alicia. Yay! The only people I like on Manono should absolutely get together. 

Is Tarzan crazy? He thinks Alicia is more trustworthy than Christina? Has he met Alicia or talked to her? She’s awful. Leif, who seems to be a genuinely nice guy, feels stuck because Tarzan is telling him point blank to vote for Christina, but he’s made plans to vote for Alicia. (I think it’s all moot, because no one is going home tonight at all.)

Both tribes go to Tribal Council. Jeff announces that Colton did, indeed, have acute appendicitis, and needed surgery. Kat isn’t sure what appendicitis is (of course she doesn’t). Alicia tells Sabrina that Colton kept the Immunity Idol. Sabrina believes that Colton would be selfish enough to keep it, but the others are suspicious. And Kat is more worried about not hurting her appendix, bless her heart.

And, wow, they’ve merged! I guess this elimination was going to be the last. Good news for Christina, but I would have rather gotten rid of Alicia first. Hopefully her alliance will abandon her. A girl can hope, right? They’re going into the merge evenly between the men and the women, but a couple of different alliances are afoot. 

Next week: Drama between Jonas and Tarzan, and Tarzan decides that it’s a good time to go it alone. Yeesh.

Credits: Colton is used to getting his own way.  Maybe the universe really was trying to tell you something. The game already seems a whole lot nicer. Now let’s get rid of Alicia, and I might not have to stab myself in the eyes with a fork before the end of the season.

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