'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' recap: Episode 11

No Hesitation, No Surrender, No Man Left Behind: "Thunder Gun" -- the best damn movie of all time (which is probably Sylvester Stalone's 2010 classic, "The Expendables") sounds pretty freaking sweet. Unfortunately, Obama caused a traffic jam and the Gang members fear they won't make it to the movies on time. Should somebody tell them that movie times are really when the previews start?

Thunder Gun: (verb) To overcome ordinary human rules and circumstances regardless of the consequences, i.e., (while stuck in traffic) "Dennis, Thunder Gun over the curb."


Going for a quick tour: In a desperate attempt to get to "The Best Damn Movie of All Time," Frank comes up with the bright idea of hijacking a tour boat filled with East Asian tourists. Frank is exposed as the worst tour guide in the world.

14:11 … I loved "24" more than almost any other action/drama series on television. The entire episode displays a ticking digital clock as the Gang runs out of time.


Fat Mac Strikes Again: When Charlie and Dee decide to take to the Philly Sewers in order to make their movie time, Mac's buff physique can't seem to gain access. So he tries to steal a motorcycle. Unfortunately, all his skills and all his training do not enable him to pilot a motorbike.

Lightning fast scene change: Dennis rear-ends the bumper of a fabulous-looking Latina. He is smitten. She seems annoyed.

Weird Charlie quote: "Oh, Queen Dee is too good to get naked with her buddy." While traveling through the sewage system of Philadelphia, Charlie suggests the possibility of a rushing wall of water. Think "The Day after Tomorrow." His fear of being engulfed in sewer water conceives the idea of getting naked and holding -- because you don't want to get your clothes all wet.

Dee rejects the idea but then walks right into a grate in the floor, getting her heel stuck. Charlie ditches her. When she hears a rushing wall of water approaching, she begins stripping.

A couple of more quick scenes: Just to fill you in, Dennis seems to have hit it off with Elaina, his accident-mate, Mac ditches his stolen motorcycle and third-wheels Dennis out of a kiss. Frank, who has now told his entire life story to his hijacked tour ship, finally reaches land and is confronted by the authorities.

The Gang finally reunites in the movie theater. Mac gets prime seating. After carrying on a loud conversation with Charlie from across the room, he persuades the people next to him to exchange their seats for silence. Dee shows up, covered in fecal matter, and persuades the people next to Mac to give up their seats so they won't have to smell the crap in her hair. And Dennis, who is loudly bragging to Mac about having Elaina pleasure him in the theater, also exchanges silence for prime seating next to his buds.

Frank finally "Thunder Guns" the entire crowd, using his one phone call from prison to call a bomb threat to the movie theater. The episode ends, and fans are left with a B- minus product. Only a few episodes left in this subpar season.