'Jersey Shore' recap: The fight with no winner

We've been had.

On Sunday night before the MTV Video Music Awards, we learned the fight between Ronnie and Situation wasn't a real fight at all. It was merely a push and a tackle before some off-camera big dudes broke it up. No clean punches. No bloody lips. Nothing but a ripped shirt. And what about Mike going to the hospital? To get psyched up and to possibly freak Ron out,  Mike tried to put his head through a wall. He had done it before, but in Italy, the wall was concrete. Mike earned a mild contasion and a more serious ego contusion.

Those tricky, tricky MTV producers. They've perfected the art of the quick-edit sneak peak, making the viewers believe ... no, swear that something huge is about. to. happen. Sunday's "Jersey Shore" was just another episode, with more Sam and Ronnie fighting and more roommates complaining about it.

What else did we learn? Pauly is a true friend to Mike, as he was the only roommate to accompany Sitch to the hospital. Jenni is a major reactor and she cares greatly about the house running smoothly. Ron still has an anger problem, and his preferred form of self-reflection is staring at himself in a gym mirror. Sammi will always be the girlfriend you never want. Snooki has no shame when it comes to talking about her masturbation techniques.

It's a running "Jersey Shore" theme: the show desperately needs to refocus and remember many viewers hate the Ronnie/Sammi relationship. Give us Deena on a manhunt, or MVP trying out pick-up lines on the Italian women — just please give everyone a break from the most toxic relationship on reality TV, even if it's only for a moment.

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