Rule No. 1 in P.M. Forni's book "Choosing Civility: The Twenty Five Rules of Considerate Conduct" is "Pay Attention." I think that rule, if enough people chose to follow it, would make dining out in Baltimore a thousand-fold more pleasurable, overnight.

[The Civil Dining conversation started here.]

Forni elaborates on this rule, as he often does, with a an illustration from the dinner table, specifically, the practice of passing salt-and-pepper together even when only one is asked for. "(K)eeping saltshaker and pepper mill together makes it easier to locate them. The next person who needs them will not have to chase them around the table."

The rule applies to everyone, including the other diners at your table. I know that I get a little antsy when the bread basket and/or the butter comes to a dead stop.

I stopped going to a self-seating cafe where single diners would often commandeer a four-top in the mid-morning and remain there through the lunch rush. I faulted those selfish table-hogs but more so the cafe for not noticing it (this went on for years) and coming up with a corrective solution.

We all know when we're being looked after in a restaurant. And, I can tell within five seconds of entering a restaurant whether the staff has been trained to "see" guests on their periphery -- they either have or they haven't. Great restaurant chefs don't stand over a stove. They're the last pair of eyes to see the plate before it comes out of the kitchen to your table.

So, with "Pay Attention" as our guide, let's come up with some new rules for Civil Dining. For now, let's talk about what diners can do, and we'll turn our attention to waistaffs later.

Post here, or email your suggestions to richard.gorelick@baltusun.com