Stewart unveils 'Trump Egometer'

When Donald Trump was publicly proven wrong yesterday by President Barack Obama releasing his long-form birth certificate (reiterating what we already know is true: He's a U.S. citizen), most people expected Trump to react with some variation of "I'm an idiot. I was wrong." Instead, Trump used the opportunity to praise himself.  

"Today, I am very proud of myself," he said at a news conference. "... I feel I've accomplished something really, really important and I'm honored by it." 

How does one make sense of this inexplicable behavior?

Jon Stewart explained it all very well last night on "The Daily Show": Saying he's "very proud" of himself is actually the worst thing Trump has the ability to say about himself. His self-confidence is so high that phrase is actually an insult. 

"Wow," Stewart said. "That is the hardest I've ever see Trump be on himself." 

Stewart then unveiled the "Trump Egometer," which perfectly explained the situation. 

You see, Trump has five levels of comments he can say about himself, from highest to lowest: 

5) I refuse to put anything in my body that didn't come out of my body. 

4) I saw my face in a piece of toast.

3) I am the greatest man ever -- including Jesus and Robocop.

2) I am a golden god.

1) I am very proud of myself.  

You see, Trump wasn't trying to be arrogant. He was trying to be humble. 

That's why he arrived at the news conference in a chopper with his huge name painted on the side. 


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