It's that time again when delusional fools like I dream impossible dreams about the Orioles playing .500 baseball. Not about the World Series. Not about playoffs. Hell, not even about a wild card. I'll take Joe Angel's whiskey-barrel voice lamenting an Orioles loss after every Orioles win if it means things even out at the end. Because as long as baseball is broken, the only team dynasties we'll see are the ones fueled by payrolls that eclipse the gross domestic product of Liberia.

Not to live in coulda-beens and would-bes, but imagine if things were different. Two simple changes to the game would revolutionize everything:

1. For the love of God, get rid of the uneven schedules. In the shortsighted economics of baseball (what other type is there?) stacking teams up against their divisional foes more often seems like a good idea. A nice way to boost ticket sales by providing more opportunities for visiting fans to accompany their teams on the road. A great chance to squeeze a little extra ad sale juice from the minor bumps in TV viewership that accompany divisional games. Unfortunately, we play in the AL East. The Meat Grinder. Home to two of MLB's biggest team payrolls: the Yankees and Red Sox. Not surprisingly, they're regularly two of the league's most dominant. Also no surprise: the Orioles were a pathetic 24-48 against the AL East in '09. They were 40-50 against the rest of the league (not great, but not 24-48 either).

It's time to redistribute. Equal schedules, equal opportunities to excel. Or suck.

2. Introduce salary caps too keep Royals fans from committing hari-kari. The NFL has it right. Unless you're a Lions or Browns fan, most would agree football does an excellent job of creating an environment of competitive possibility. As much as I love to watch the Ravens win, there's an allure to the idea of "Any given Sunday." In Major League Baseball, games are won with paychecks. Of the eight postseason-bound teams last year, five of them were in the Top 10 in payroll. It's time to let front office philosophy and farm system foresight determine success, not wads of cash thick enough to choke a humpback whale.

I admit it. Part of this is just the bitter musings of an Orioles fan who was just old enough to be haunted by memories of their last World Series Championship. For right now, I'm totally cool with 2010 being the year the Birds elevate their game from bag-over-the-head-embarrassing to solid, unspectacular mediocrity. Go O's!