'Jersey Shore' in Italy premiere gives us 10 signs of the apocalypse

OK, so I was assigned to watch and blog about the "Jersey Shore" in Italy season premiere. While I initially believed this was a pointless assignment, I now take back those words. On tonight's episode, no fewer than 10 signs of the apocalypse were revealed. 

10) Snooki shared her knowledge of European geography. 

9) Snooki's dad volunteered to be a male stripper. 

8) Eight of 10 Twitter trending topics in Baltimore were Jersey Shore related. 

7) Snooki and Sammi decided to get fake breasts together. 

6) Deena said she wanted to do something called "the Jersey turnpike" at the club. 

5) Several cast members revealed that they apparently believe carousels are called Ferris wheels. 

4) Deena ran aimlessly through the airport and then fell on her face. 

3) Commercials during the show featured Sammi. And Deena. Yes, paid commercials. 

2) Ronnie fell and broke a table and Pauly said it was greatest day of his life. 

1) Pauly and Deena engaged in the most disgusting kiss in world (and possibly universal) history. 

So what did we learn from the episode? New Jersey doesn't currently (and perhaps never) cared about things like geography or basic English words; DJ Pauly D could win the Baltimore mayor's race easily; and pretty soon we'll all be speaking Chinese. 

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