The Holidays are upon us: The season of anxious shopping, Seasonal Affective Disorder, and surreally unappetizing limited edition craft beers. You may have wondered how they come up with them. Well, City Paper investigitated! By ceaselessly interrogating our beer-making sources, creeping, skulking and snooping relentlessly in bars and breweries; and then just making shit up, we found the answer! Now, for the first time, City Paper exposes the font of brewery absurdities with our exclusive, never-before-seen-by-the-public Holiday MicroBrew-a-Matic, which generates new and atrocious beer concepts at the touch of this (artisanal) tap. Just press it to drown your sorrow and bewilderment with us! Please enjoy responsibly.