I entered into a civil union with another woman in Vermont in 2000. My ex and I were together until 2003, when we decided to go our separate ways. It is now 2015, and my new partner (who happens to be male) and I are expecting a baby and talking about getting married. We live in Texas. I know that there are ways to dissolve my civil union in Vermont, but I can’t get ahold of my ex (ex-wife? Ex-CUer?) to sign any of the forms. Neither do I want to, because frankly it was an abusive relationship and I still bear emotional scars. She threatened my life, encouraged my suicidal thoughts, and told me I was a loser who didn’t deserve to live. I feel I have finally found peace, but now that it has become an issue again, I don’t know. I have intense thoughts of wanting to kill her if I should ever see her. Thank goodness she lives in another state! She used to stalk me until she finally moved back to the Pacific Northwest. Is there a way to dissolve my civil union without having to directly contact my ex?
In a former life, I was a staunch Republican and voted for anti-gay ballot initiatives. Then, after a bad divorce 18 years ago, I moved to another state and fell in with an artistic crowd. Over the years, I became close friends with people with vastly different life experiences, and I’ve developed an entirely new attitude toward gay rights. My dilemma: When SCOTUS handed down their ruling making marriage a right for all, I congratulated all my nonstraight friends on Facebook. One of those friends posted a note thanking me for “always being in [their] corner.” My asshole brother then commented that not only had I not “always” been supportive, in my previous life I campaigned against gay rights. Several nonstraight friends jumped to my defense, stating that it couldn’t be true. I am ashamed of the person I was and have worked hard to be a better person. Is there any point in apologizing?
On the Lovecast, the therapeutic potential of MDMA: savagelovecast.com.