Despite the liberal media's incessant War on Halloween, law-and-order-venerating Americans everywhere (yes, even from such far-off exotic locales as Guam, Puerto Rico, or the Dakotas) have continued to celebrate this sanctified and only slightly modified pagan harvest festival with gusto, moxie, and unbridled and sort of chilling enthusiasm. Each year we gut pumpkins, force our animals to wear approximations of tiny human clothes, and revel in our abilities to ask strangers for free candy and, if necessary, judge them for their subpar taste in said candy. The most stressful and vexing aspect of this great American tradition is figuring out a dang thing to wear! You can't just be Batman or a Supreme Court Justice or the Joker every year. But don't fret needlessly or in public, because we can help. Using carefully curated data from millions of internet searches and private email exchanges, we've determined the most popular (and safest) Halloween costumes of 2015. Enjoy!