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Q&A Transcript of a non-hypothetical Conversation Between my Legal Counsel and Me

Q&A Transcript of a non-hypothetical Conversation Between my Legal Counsel and Me
(Charlie Herrick)

I am happy to be using the space for this week’s session of the Mr. Wrong Column to announce that I have Officially Concluded my Whatever with my REDACTEDREDACTED, and my Lawyer says I can’t talk about it, and that’s fine, because, well, I CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT, see? Lawyer!

Previously, I have taken the High Road, and there’s no reason for me to stop doing that. I recommend the High Road!

I would also like to thank all of the well-wishers who have wished me well during this whole thing, and I saved all the money that was raised for me in the WRONGFEST events at Ottobar and Metro Gallery (about three grand), and I will be donating it to the Sam Holden Memorial Fund at Towson University, and if you are in a position to throw a few bucks (or hey, a lotta bucks) that way, please to visit samholdenphotography.com and follow the link to the donation thing.

OK, so in summation to this Preamble, I CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT. If I signed stuff, what I signed if I did sign, and if I got any REDACTED if I signed some stuff that I can’t talk about if I signed, and I certainly can’t say and don’t want to say, in words with my mouth, REDACTED REDACTED about my REDACTED REDACTED, and that’s fine, because I CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT.

But I can say “Thanks, Lawyers!” Here are my Legal Questions, which I posed to my Legal Counsel, my pal REDACTED, of the firm of REDACTED, REDACTED & REDACTED, who are right here in Baltimore, and were recommended to me by the wonderful Marcia Semmes at Maryland Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts.

All items deemed to be not in My Best Interests or Objectionable, or Questionable, or Actionable, will be REDACTED and to indicate the REDACTED, I will probably just put REDACTED, which might get a little confusing from when I would normally just use the word REDACTED in a sentence, but anyway, REDACTED!
Mr. Wrong: Can I tell people to just congratulate me, and not tell ’em why? 

REDACTED: “Congratulate me. I had a dispute and lawsuit; now my dispute is resolved and I have dismissed my lawsuit.” As the Agreement states: “REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED, but  REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED.”  You can talk about REDACTEDREDACTED REDACTEDREDACTED REDACTED REDACTED, REDACTED REDACTED, and REDACTED.  You just can’t call them REDACTED, REDACTED, REDACTED, etc.  Everything in the complaint that we filed is certainly  REDACTED.

MW: Can I recommend you by name as BEST LAWYER FOR YOUR LABOR DISPUTE WHICH YOU ARE NOW ENJOINED AND PROSCRIBED FROM EVER TALKING ABOUT? 

R: You can REDACTED me for that. I was your REDACTED of REDACTED in a REDACTEDREDACTED in REDACTED.  It’s a public record, there’s no confidentiality in that. I’m your man. You can also recommend me for a Grammy and a REDACTED.

MW: Can I tell people my Legal Counsel in Matters of Labor Disputes plays in a Bocce league?  
R: Yes. Current team name: The Bocce-Bazouks.  We play on Thursdays at HomeSlyce in Mount Vernon.
MW: Can I refer to “The Recent REDACTED with My REDACTED REDACTED?”  

R: You cannot though: “REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED, REDACTED REDACTED, REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED, REDACTED REDACTED, REDACTED REDACTED, REDACTEDREDACTED/REDACTED, or REDACTED, REDACTED, REDACTED, REDACTED, or REDACTED.”  

MW: Hey, on my LinkedIn, where I have my Professional Contacts on the Internet, can I put “CONGRATULATE JOE ON HIS RECENT SETTLEMENT?” Howabout “CONGRATULATE JOE ON ‘HE CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT?’”  
R: Use your best judgment. Seems fine to me.
MW: Can I put that I think it was all just a REDACTED and I was really REDACTED that my REDACTED did not REDACTED and REDACTED to me REDACTED about REDACTED, because I think we coulda REDACTED it REDACTED in a more REDACTED because I am a Uniter and not a Divider? 
R: Eh. Why go there. But it’s not exactly disparaging; but is sort of “negative.”

MW: Can I put that I think the company that has been very good to me by signing my Freelance Checks, the Baltimore Sun Media Group, might feel weird when I put stuff about Lawyers and Legal and Former Employers but I guess maybe, because they probably hadda sign all kindsa Nondisclosure and non-Disparagement stuff too?  

R: REDACTED.  It’s not a statement about REDACTED.

MW: Hey, wait, am I getting billed for this? 

R: $225/hour or a couple of Duckpins.

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