Woweeee! This is absolutely one of my favemost times of year right now, seriously. Because it is Nothing! I mean, Your Results May Vary, but personally and for me, right now at this time of year after The Holidays, and The End of the Year, and The Beginning of the Year, it’s wide open, man! Nothing!
Now there is no Holiday to prepare for or spend money on or willfully Ignore! Now there is no Family Obligation on any specific date! Now there is Zero stuff to do beyond showing up for a meal! Or a card game! Or some Simulcast at the track! Ordering a pizza will have the preparation, anticipation, and deadline magnitude equal that of any National Holiday! It's the Most Nothing Time of the Year!
Look, here's how it breaks down for me, I have it memorized frontways and backward, just for the next week for example, check it out:
Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday.
That's it! That's the whole Week in Nothing, and then next Monday? The one after This Monday? You know what's going on? Monday! All day! That's what's going on Monday, it's crazy! I can't wait for all the Nothing! It's like a whole other-nother type of Non-Holiday Holiday!
I sincerely hope you are experiencing Nothing right now in the fullest sense of the way I celebrate Nothing, and I hope your Own Personal Nothing is nothing you ever hoped it would be! Or something! And more! And less!
Hey, let's do Nothing together and not plan it and not put it on a calendar or anything, we can all just Nothing So Hard in our own space-time continuum! Ready, set, Nothing!
Wow, that was great. OK, I hate to interrupt all the Nothing with Something, and this might be nothing, but this is about people who seem to have the worst kind of Nothing in their skulls while they are operating a Motor Vehicle. The other day I was driving around in my car, minding my own business, and I rolled up to an intersection and stopped at the big fat line painted on the street, which is called the "stop line." Here is a definition of that term from the State Highway Administration of Maryland:
Don't forget, please to be making a list of your own personal and highly subjective Top Tens of 2014 and ship 'em to me at the below email address. You might win a prize, which might be better than nothing.