Man, I don’t know about you, but I am having a great summer, seriously, I have gone places and eaten things, I have relaxed in many of the lovely greenspaces in Our Fair City, and also on the spacious grounds of Fort McHenry, a Federal greenspace, if you will. I have accomplished many Summertime-specific cultural activities such as Going to The Movies During Daylight Hours When it is Hot Outside, and Going to Taverns to Drink Alco-Beverages During the Daylight Hours When it is Hot Outside and One Becomes Very Thirsty. I noticed after completing both of those activities, one exits the venue in the same fashion, all squinty in the sunlight, in the manner of a Mole-Person. I went to Artscape last weekend and played SuperGame!, which was free, and right next to it, on the Charles Street bridge, there was a Ferris wheel, but it cost five bucks to ride, so I didn’t ride it, and personally, while I am glad there was a ferris wheel at Artscape this year, I think it should be free, or like a dollar to ride the ferris wheel at Artscape, not five bucks. Just saying, not riding.
Suddenly, this Summer, I am worried about the Tiger mosquito, Aedes albopictus, have you heard about this pest? Here is what I saw on the Wikipedia:
Chikungunya! I saw on the TV news somebody in Florida got Chikungunya! Have you heard about this Chikungunya? It’s headed our way on mosquitoes! The World Health Organization (http://www.who.int/en) teaches us all about Chikungunya:
Chikungunya! Watch out for those super-aggressive Tiger mosquitos, man, they can breed in a bottlecap-sized amount of water!
Tiger mosquitoes! Aedes albopictus! Chikungunya! Put on some bug repellent, there’s Natural ones you can use, but I don’t screw around, man, I go for the Nuclear stuff. Chikungunya! Look, I didn’t mean to harsh your Summer-mellow, OK? I’m just saying be careful, and I hope you are having a great summer and doing stuff, and there’s still lots of Summertime left, so go out and get you some, OK? Also, I remind you, the Gentle Reader, that I want you to write in and tell me How You Spent Your Summer Vacation, to my Twitter or email address below, because I will publish the results (heavily edited, redacted, and with the Names Changed to Protect the Innocent), and I will give some sorta prize to whoever I think should get a prize, I haven’t figured that part out yet, but there will be a prize, and it won’t be an I READ THE MR. WRONG COLUMN (OR HAVE IT READ TO ME) T-shirt, because I haven’t got them printed yet, because I am too busy doing entertaining and rewarding Summer activities, such as marinating chicken to put on the grill while I watch shows like “FY15 OVERSEAS CONTINGENCY OPS BUDGET” on the new DoD News Cable TV channel (185 on my Comcast), or sit on my front steps trying to figure out how to put the plastic weed-cutting line inside my Weedwacker so it will come out automatically and I don’t have to stop Weedwacking every two seconds and pull the line out by hand, which is potentially dangerous over an extended session of Weedwacking. I’m not buying an entire Lawnmowing machine to Lawnmower a lawn that is hardly big enough to turn around the mower which might be Lawnmowering it. Seriously, my lawn is about the size of one car-parking space. Meanwhile, I still hate having to even Weedwack my lawn, so I am trying to eliminate the whole Lawn thing by putting things into my Lawnspace that are not Lawn, such as flowers, Indigenous Plants and Shrubberies, and in many inadvertent instances, really super-tall weeds that could possibly be interpreted as being flowers, or at least plants that are as interesting as flowers, so why should I cut one down until I see what starts to emerge out of the plant once it approaches Adulthood or whatever? I mean, I know what a Dandelion, or an Ailanthus, or one of those nasty invasive Thistles looks like, I’m not growing those on my Lawnspace, there’s just a coupla weird-looking plants I haven’t figured out yet, so I’m gonna let ‘em grow a little more before my neighbor tells me to Lawnmower my goddamn lawn, after I go “you mean Weedwack it, pal, I don’t own a Lawnmower No, you be quiet!” I also have more and more areas of mulch on my Lawnal-area, that shit is gold, seriously, it just sits there, and nothing grows through it. I’m not gonna do anything extreme like pave my lawn or anything, though, the parking in my neighborhood is pretty good.