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I Am Setting My Clock Back Now From Daylight Savings Time But You Can Live Any Way You Want

This week it is officially Fall, and I for one am totally OK with that, because I had a great Summer, and I had some Summer Vacation action and I asked you, the Gentle Reader, to tell me about your Summer Vacation, and my fave response was from L. Kassal, of Baltimore, America, and it went as follows:

As always, thank you for your column, this one about your summering and vacationing.

I am doing neither. However, I *was* at Mt. Washington Pizza reading your column, and the windows and front door were open, letting Baltimore summer air waft through. And to me, this felt very vacation-y.

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Also, I was having Kashmiri Naan, a lovely Indian bread they make at the restaurant with almonds and raisins.

That's my current vacation.  I think it is swell.

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The reason I like this response it because L. Kassal took what coulda been a Negative, complain-y tack on not having a vacation and turned it into a Positive appreciation of a moment on this planet, and also, it included food, so now I need to go to the Mount Washington Pizza and totally score some Kashmiri Naan, so thank you, L. Kassal of Baltimore, and thanks for the recommend on the food item!

This Officially Concludes the season of Summer Columns for the Mr. Wrong Column, and now we Fall Forward, column-wise, and start thinking about all the great things that happen in the Fall, which is also known as Autumn. On the Internet, the Old Farmers Almanac teaches us about Fall:

In 2014, the autumnal equinox brings the fall season to the Northern Hemisphere on: September 22 at 10:29 P.M. EDT. 

And then Almanac proceeds to get super-geeked on what exactly is going on with the Autumnal Equinox, on account of there aren't exactly 12 hours of day and night, which I was not aware of, and I'm not sure this answer helps me get clarity on the subject:

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On the equinoxes, the very center of the Sun sets just 12 hours after it rises. But the day begins when the upper edge of the Sun reaches the horizon (which happens a bit before the center rises), and it doesn't end until the entire Sun has set. Not only that, but the Sun is actually visible when it is below the horizon, as Earth's atmosphere refracts the Sun's rays and bends them in an arc over the horizon. According to our former astronomer, George Greenstein, "If the Sun were to shrink to a starlike point and we lived in a world without air, the spring and fall equinoxes would truly have 'equal nights.'"

My head hurts more and more each time I read that and now I want to use 12 hours of Equinox to just take a nap and stop thinking about the center of the Sun reaching the horizon and how it is visible below the horizon and the atmosphere refracting the rays of the Sun and “a starlike point in a world without air,” what? That’s like some Science Fiction I read in High School, man, ow.

Anyway, now it is Fall, man, and then the next confusing thing that happens is Daylight Savings Time, I think, unless we are already on the Daylight Savings Time? Wait, I think we aren't, I think we are on the Eastern Standard Time, and so then we do the thing where we mnemonically, "Fall back," as in; it is Fall, so we (the People) set our clocks back an hour, unless we only tell time with our Cell Phones, in which case you don't have to do anything, they just do it for you. And you know who They are.

But no, OK, yeah, we are totally already on Daylight Savings Time, so at 2 a.m. in November we are going to Fall back into Eastern Standard Time, I guess. So that would be 2 a.m. Daylight Savings Time in November, and then it would all of a sudden be 1 a.m., but it would still be November. Man, I'm pretty sure this kinda thing happens every year, but it always makes me ponder the Infinite, and Time and stuff, you know?

I am generally a big fan of Eastern Standard Time, because I live in that Time Zone, and that Time Zone kinda sets the agenda for the rest of Our Great Nation, however, and also, I know as a U.S. American I can live on whatever schedule I want! Like, I could live here on the Eastern Seaboard of America and do all my living in the Mountain Time Zone if I really wanted to, but it would be difficult to remember when exactly to tune in to my favorite teevee programs at the correct time if I did that, because I do not haz DVR, so I Compromise and I schedule my Life according to the Artificial Constraints of Daylight Savings Time and things like that, because I am participating in a Society, or a Culture, or at least a Time Zone, and also because I don't want to miss the next episode of "The Good Wife," OK?

Email: wrongcolumn@gmail.com
Tweet tweet bang bang: @MRWRONGCOLUMN

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