AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Some Aquarian readers have been complaining. They want me to use more celebrity references in my horoscopes. They demand fewer metaphors drawn from literature, art, and science, and more metaphors rooted in gossipy events reported on by tabloids. “Tell me how Kanye West’s recent travails relate to my personal destiny,” wrote one Aquarius. So here’s a sop to you kvetchers: The current planetary omens say it’s in your interest to be more like Taylor Swift and less like Miley Cyrus. Be peppy, shimmery, and breezy, not earthy, salty, and raucous. APRIL FOOL! In truth, I wouldn’t write about celebrities’ antics if you paid me. Besides, for the time being, Miley Cyrus is a better role model for you than Taylor Swift.