I arrived early with my borrowed short "sword" and shield looking for a guy named Skip Lipman. He was tough to miss, a towering man with a thick black beard and voice like distant thunder, clad in gleaming steel Spartan armor and a great plumed helmet, and armed with a Ravens travel coffee mug. He welcomed me with a giant smile and sent me to his daughter Sarah to get armored up. Sarah and her boyfriend-Michael Raines, better known as Forest, clad in the greens and browns of a woodland ranger, a longbow and foam arrows slung across his back-hooked me up. I got a black tunic, leather arm guards, a Mongol-style helmet that only sort of fit on the top of my head, and shoulder pads with latex skulls that matched the giant crotch skull on my belt that was incredibly suggestive, though of what, I have no idea. Fully girded, I became Grond, Hammer of the Underworld, then headed over to the back of a Mazda to eat donuts with Krog and Gorm. Krog and Gorm are work buddies from Walmart who, when not dying at the base of Federal Hill, are remarkably good dudes that go by the earth names Craig Lacey and George McDevitt, respectively. Also, I'm pretty sure Krog ganked the last strawberry-glazed donut, and for that I would make him pay.