Eierlegende Wollmilchsau is a colloquial German term for a mythical pig that lays eggs like a chicken, provides milk like a cow, supplies wool like a sheep, and ultimately becomes bacon and pork chops. Metaphorically, it may refer to a fanciful device that performs many functions. Imagine, for instance, a futuristic smartphone that could interpret your dreams, trim your unwanted hair, fix you a perfect cup of coffee, tell you you're beautiful in ways you actually believe, and cure your little health problems. In the real world, there's no such thing, right? Not yet. But there's a chance you will find the next best thing to an Eierlegende Wollmilchsau in 2014.