Privately Polyamorous Person
You haven't been keeping up, PPP. We are no longer the LGBT community. We are the LGBTQLFTSQIA community, aka the lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, leather/fetish, two-spirit, questioning, intersex, and asexual community/communities. I don't see why we can't slap a "P" onto the end of our acronym, so say it with me now: "I'm proud to be a member of the LGBTQLFTSQIAP community/communities!"
But I have to draw the line at the ampersand. Because if we give poly folks a punctuation mark, PPP, then soon everybody is gonna want a punctuation mark, and our ever-metastasizing acronym is an unwieldy, sprawling-enough mess already. So no special punctuation-mark rights for you guys, PPP.
And why should poly folks be held at arm's length with an ampersand? Because most poly folks are straight? Lots of leather/fetish folks are straight, and they're covered in the acronym. Lots of trans men and trans women are straight, and they're covered. David Jay, founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, "is in a romantic relationship with an asexual girlfriend and hopes to adopt a child," according to his Wiki page, and he's covered. If the Ts and LFs and As aren't being held with a pair of punctuational tongs, PPP, why should poly folks be? You're a sexual minority too, and poly people sometimes face discrimination, bigotry, and oppression. So welcome to the club, PPP. Congrats!
And here's the best part of putting poly folks in the acronym: It brings us one step closer to seizing control of the entire alphabet. While religious conservatives are fighting a losing battle to "take back the rainbow" from the gays-a movement led by a fundamentalist preacher in Washington state-we've been making off with the alphabet one letter at a time. Pretty soon, angry religious conservatives will have to post their hateful screeds in hieroglyphics because using the alphabet will be just as gay as putting a rainbow bumper sticker on your car.
So. . . gee . . . maybe I ought to let you have your ampersand. Why not steal punctuation marks from the haters too?
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