While we're sick to death of the Starbucking of America, the last thing Baltimore needs is a place that treats coffee like the second coming. Enter Artifact, the Woodberry restaurant/coffee spot that tries be Brooklyn on the Jones Falls. Granted, the coffee at Artifact is very good. But coffee isn't the Holy Grail, and that's where Artifact jumps the shark. Your pour-over coffee choices are described by the waitstaff as if they were describing a lover ("spicy, nutty, full-bodied"), then delivered to your table, made of distressed wooden planks (Artifact looks like Martha Stewart's country-barn fantasy). Finishing up your Triunfo-bean brew, your bill comes stuffed into a battered vintage spice tin. Lighten up, folks, it's just coffee!