Fragile Ego Males
P.S. The more a guy likes me, the more this seems to happen.
So . . . you go to bed with a guy, he's at full sail, and then you inform him that you, the lady of the hookup, will be coming first. You instruct him in the art of What I Like and How You Should Do It, and by the time he's done-by the time he gets you off-that dick has sailed. Or his dick sails are empty. Or something.
Why does this happen? I have three theories...
Theory One: Lots of straight guys make it into their mid-20s without ever having encountered a sexually assertive woman, FEM. A woman who advocates for herself in the sack, who knows what she likes and isn't too shy to ask for/insist on it, can come as a shock to a sheltered/indulged/entitled boy's dicksystems. And while some deeply insecure guys (guys you wouldn't wanna waste your time and your twat on anyway) may find your assertiveness off-putting (or sail-emptying or dick-limpening or whatever), it may be the case that even the more secure guys you go to bed with (guys you would wanna lavish your time and twattention on) could be thrown by their first encounter with a sexually assertive woman.
Theory Two: Guys who throw themselves into making it happen for you could be losing their erections because they're focusing on pleasing you and getting you off. Making it happen for a partner-particularly if you're making it happen with your mouth and it takes longer than 15 minutes-can be hard work. A guy can get wrapped up in giving someone pleasure, slip into a more service-oriented headspace, and then discover that his dick has wandered off when it's "his turn."
Theory Three: If you're going home with some guy at 3 A.M. after a night of boozing, and he spends the first 45 minutes eating your pussy, he may be spent by the time you get off.
And here's how you reduce the awkwardness when it does happen: Acknowledge the situation without dwelling on it, don't treat it like a catastrophe, and suggest taking a break-have some ice cream! Get a few hours sleep!-before having another go at it. And when you start in again, FEM, go with the impolite order of things, i.e. he comes first next time.
P.S. The more a guy likes you, FEM, the more performance anxiety he may experience. And the more he likes you, the more invested he may be in-and the more distracted he may be by-getting you off.
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years, and we've been living together for one. Several times a day, in passing, he reaches his hand inside my shirt and quickly grabs a boob, and then continues on his way. I could be cooking or studying or brushing my teeth, and he just digs in there out of the blue and doesn't usually even acknowledge me before or after. In bed, he is very considerate and giving, GGG and all that-no complaints. I've tried to bring it up two or three times, but he gets offended, so I drop it. Do I have a right to prefer an offhand kiss on the forehead or something more affectionate and less boob-grabby? Is this typical for LTRs? Am I a selfish prude?