by David Lynch, and compare that to the scene at Midnight Mass. This is probably the only regularly occurring Religious Service that comes complete with a play-by-play announcer on the broadcast, seriously, no matter what your Religious Affiliation or non-affiliation is, you should check it out. For us it was highly Educational seeing where some of our dough from the collection basket at mass went, for the upkeep of all that stuff. Somebody’s gotta clean those giant, twisted pillars, right? Anyway, it never gets old, even though the popes do, and that’s when we get really deep, trying to see how feeble he is, like, how much of the mass is he doing, is anybody holding stuff he would normally hold, and also, we scout the room, checking out the red-capped Cardinals, who are all one step away from being pope, all trying to figure out who’s gonna be next in line for the Big Chair. No matter where we end up on Christmas Eve, my brother and I always find time to check in with the Holy Mother Church and the healing power of Television. And snacks.