Not only is the music press basically fueling T.I. vs. T.I.P.'s maketing campaign by focusing exclusively on the so-called "split-personality" that Clifford Harris—aka T.I., the man behind 2006's King, aka T.I.P., Harris' other rap persona—explores on his new album, but Harris actually interviewed himself for AllHipHop.com. Enough already: We get it. T.I. is the business-minded major-label rap star, T.I.P. is the hungry hustler from the streets. But what we really want to know is whose name appears on the checks. Army Wives (Lifetime) Perchance the dirtiest secret of all in the personal TV-watching life right now. This Lifetime--yes, you read that right--series has found a way to be both knee-jerk patriotic and lowest-common-denominator exploitative in equal measure with this military base-set drama about home-front life during wartime starring JAG's Catherine Bell, NYPD Blue's Kim Delaney, and hard-working TV character actress Brigid Brannagh. You can tell it started out shooting for China Beach but settled for being the love child of the testosterone-heavy The Unit and recklessly silly Melrose Place. Army husbands--and one wife, Wives balancing its gender and race demographic in one swoop by making the stay-at-home husband an African-American civilian doctor--train for deployment and return scarred from the forward areas. Special-forces infantrymen train and hone skills never knowing just quite when they're going to be called. Far too prescient reports of bombings and helicopters going down bring very unwanted news to the women (and man) at the base. Meanwhile, one wife spills wine on her dress and comes high-heel clicking out of a ladies' room stall in her matching bra and thong to clean it off in the sink. A pregnant wife surrogates for another family to earn some extra cash since her husband's special-forces pay doesn't support their two kids--and has to deliver atop a pool table in a dive bar off base. And a PTSD-suffering soldier takes hostages in a hospital, exposes his vulnerable side when confessing to the atrocities he witnessed and perpetrated over there--and gets sniper-shot dropped by one of his own all within one hourlong episode. Awful barely comes close to describing this trash--and I haven't missed an episode yet.