exist while Juno temple, drunk on Grey Goose, haunts a second story balcony mimicking a sex act only men can organically perform. Past all the parties and celebrity sightings and business card trading and lies about projects sort of lined up, Sundance's core function is to sell films The producers who have financed the movies meet with distributors in back rooms while the rest of the interested check their twitter feeds and insider blogs to find out which deals have most recently broken. For the tens of thousands that attend the festival for one reason or another, about 100 are actually involved in the nuts and bolts of this process. The rest of it, the screenings, the schmoozing, the drinking, eating, and diarrhea which result are all scavengers activities, feeding off the doings of these select 100. If you can trace your existence to one of the 100, it's a golden ticket into the chocolate factory of free booze and plated appetizers. Surprisingly, amidst all the chaos of the festival, you still run into people who have come only to ski. "No one's on the slopes," one of them tells me. He's a kid-looking man somewhere in his indefinable 20s. "You ski all day with no wait at the lifts, then come to town and hit the parties." By the way he says parties, it's clear he's really referring to the hundreds of young women barfing out the doors of bars with their nude legs flashing despite the 10 degree weather. "But how do you get in?" I ask. And he smiles and it's clear I'm not talking to a person, but some person's son, a human for whom access to capitol and other powerful people has never and will never be an issue. Park City, is, after all, a place where rich people come to ski, so there happens to be a film festival, what's the difference, make a call, get on the list. Washington, DC; Hollywood, California; Park City, Utah... Where am I again?