The idea was a gem: celebrate bacon by eating it en masse, with live music and beer. The April 26 execution of the inaugural Maryland Bacon Festival at Rash Field in Baltimore's Inner Harbor, though, was thoroughly bungled, with long lines and little food. On the upside, its failure generated truly artful insults on the festival's (since removed) Facebook page: "I would have gotten the same amount of bacon," wrote Adam Thomas, "if I exchanged my $25 for 100 quarters and threw them into the harbor, wishing for bacon." This, from Amanda Barbe, is a model use of rhetoric: "I've had better bacon festivals in my kitchen." Perhaps the best was Neenah Lloyd's obvious question: "How do you fuck bacon up?"