Because you don't want to give any more advice to readers stuck in sexually unfulfilling marriages they can't or don't want to end, will you allow me to give a little advice from the perspective of the other woman, i.e., the person who makes it possible for them to "stay married and stay sane"? I contacted an old flame when my marriage ended. He was married. His wife refused to have sex with him but also expected him to stay faithful to her. Their kids were still in school. He honestly believed that staying together was the best thing for the kids. I went into it thinking it was going to be a fling, a temporary thing to get me over my husband and back in the game. But the sex was mind-blowingly good. And here's the thing about amazing sex: It bonds people. We fell in love all over again. He told me our affair made his sexless marriage bearable. He was happier and a more patient father, he bickered less with his wife. He made me feel beautiful, desirable, known, and accepted—all feelings that had been lacking in my marriage. But I was in the shadows. Every assignation was a risk. I couldn't introduce him to my friends, my son, or my family. After four years, I couldn't take it anymore. My ego was shredded. So I ended it. I was tired of the fear, lying, and hiding, and being secondary. My advice to readers stuck in sexless marriages who cheat to "stay sane": Beware of unintended consequences. You can have an affair with the most discreet, careful partner who accepts your circumstances, who makes no demands, who provides you with both a warm body to fuck and the passion that has drained out of your marriage. You can be careful not to get caught. It might be incredible for a while. But the chances of nothing going wrong and of everyone remaining happy over the long term are vanishingly small. It's a matter of time before someone gets hurt.