I'm a 41-year-old straight woman who stayed a virgin way longer than I should have (thank you, church and cultural slut shaming). I wasn't 100 percent "good," i.e., I was one of those "not PIV = not really sex" girls, so I indulged in outercourse and other "cheats." When I finally realized that "not until marriage" wasn't working for me and did the real thing, I discovered I loved it. Go me, right? Unfortunately, I'm not good at dating, so I usually go a long time between relationships. The relationship I'm in now is the first one I've had in two years. "Guy" is nice to me—calls me beautiful, sticks up for me, comes to watch me play with a community orchestra (my own family and friends don't even come to my shows). But we don't have much in common (hobbies, political outlook, religious beliefs) and sometimes our conversations feel labored. But that's okay, right? At least I'm getting my sexual needs met, right? Well, no. Every single time we've tried to have sex, Guy either can't get hard or stays hard for only a few minutes. I've tried going down on him, using my hands, different positions—nothing works. He's never had an orgasm with me. We don't even kiss that much. I don't say anything because I don't want to hurt his feelings and because I'm really grateful to him for wanting to be with me and being nice to me. He says sorry and that he's asked the doctor about it, but we don't get anywhere. It feels lonelier than when I was single. To be blunt, I don't want to date him anymore. But I feel too guilty to break up with him. He really cares about me, and he didn't do anything wrong. We've dated for four months, and I don't know if I'm giving up too soon. Where would I be if previous boyfriends had ditched me for being inexperienced instead of showing me the ropes? Don't I owe Guy the same thing?