My idea to have an Essay Contest is pretty good, hah? I mean, at this point it's the Second Tri-Annual Mr. Wrong Column Editor-in-Chief Contest! It's an Institution! I have Ideas all the time for the paper. Like, I wanted to do "Pet of the Week," where people send in pictures of their pets. People love stuff like that, right? And I invented "How's It Goin'?" Where we take pictures of people and ask them How it is Going, only without the "g" to make it more conversational, see? Some people would go "what?" But other people would really tell us How it was Goin'. I think we should also have a weekly Sports column, and I think stuff like pinball and darts is a sport. I think we should sell ads on the cover like the Pennysaver does and like The New York Times does, and I am cool with those sticker ads that go on the cover and screw up the design, but we should have, like, Editorial Content on one side of the sticker, or a cartoon or something. I think we should have more cartoons in the paper, and poetry, and works of Fiction. I don't like the Sudoku because it is made out of Math, but I realize some people like it, bleah.