I'm a 33-year-old straight guy with a small dick. I have a girlfriend of seven years. When we met, I was really insecure and she had to spend a lot of time reassuring me that it didn't matter—she loved my dick, sex with me was great, it was big enough for her, etc. I broke up with her once because I didn't think she should settle for someone so small. After some hugely painful nights and another near breakup, we are in a good place now. We have lots of great vanilla sex, we love being together, and we recently got engaged. After everything I put her through—and I put her through hell—how do I tell her that being mocked (and worse) for having a small dick is the only thing I ever think about when I masturbate? I want a woman to punish me emotionally and physically for having such a small and inadequate dick. There's porn about my kink, but I didn't discover it until long after I was aware of my interest. (I grew up in a weird family that lived "off the grid," and I didn't get online until I got into college at age 23.) I've never been able to bring myself to tell anyone about my kink. How do I tell this woman? I basically bullied her into telling me that my dick was big enough—and now I want her to tell me it isn't big enough. But do I really want her to? I've never actually experienced the kind of insulting comments and physical punishments that I fantasize about. What if the reality is shattering?