I'm a 25-year-old gay woman and I've been looking for a girlfriend for the past two years. I post on dating websites, go to the lesbian club, take part in the LGBTQ+ scene at my university, and put myself in places where I might meet women. But I'm worried that my persona deters women: I'm extremely analytic, a doctoral student and university instructor. Whenever I meet a girl, our conversation always goes in the same direction: She thinks it's cool I work with literature and then brings up her favorite pop-culture novel like Harry Potter. I say something like "I've never read Harry Potter, but people rave about it. What do you like about it? I took an online Harry Potter test once for a friend, and it said I was a Slytherin." At this point, things change. The girl I'm speaking with gets flustered. She says something like "Oh, I'm not good at describing things," seemingly feeling pressured to give me an intellectual response, like I'm giving her a quiz. I'm not sure what to do about this. I am having trouble maintaining casual and fun conversations despite my intentions. I come off as intense. I think I'm a pretty attractive person, but my dating life is starting to make me feel differently. I work out regularly and take good care of myself. How can I find a woman I jibe with?