I am a twentysomething, straight, cis-female expat. How long do I have to wait to ask my German lover, who is übersensitive about the Holocaust, to indulge me in my greatest—and, until now, unrealized—fantasy: Nazi role-play? He is very delicate around me because I am a secular Jew and the descendant of Holocaust survivors. (Even though I've instructed him to watch "The Believer," starring Ryan Gosling as a Jewish neo-Nazi, to get a better grasp on my relationship with Judaism. To be clear, I am not actually a neo-Nazi—just your garden-variety self-hating Jew.) This persists even though we've spoken about my anti-Zionist politics. Evidently he was indoctrinated from a young age with a hyperapologetic history curriculum. I appreciate that he thinks it was wrong for the SS to slaughter my family, but it's not like he did it himself. I know it sounds really fucked up, but I promise this isn't coming from a place of deep-seated self-loathing. Even if it were, it's not like we'd be hurting anybody. We're both in good psychological working condition, and neither of us is an actual bigot. I would try to get to know him better, but we are so different (there's a big age difference) and I don't really see our relationship being much more than ze sex.