Gay, thirtysomething male in D.C. My boyfriend of three years has been acting strange—not taking his antidepression meds, says he's feeling weird. He has withdrawn from me, sleeps 15 hours a day, and has been canceling on commitments to socialize with friends. That I am fine with—he's blue and I get it. Here's why I'm writing: He was doing an online crossword, and when he got up, I was going to write a message in it—to be funny and sweet. What I saw messed me up. There was a browser window open about meth and depression. He is 48 and successful, and isn't a clubber or party-going type. METH? What the hell? I snooped further, and there was a detailed search history on meth, meth and depression, meth and sex. He doesn't seem to have been high around me—and I would never use meth, it's not my thing and I have a security clearance (no drugs for me, ever)—but I don't want to date an addict. I don't want to be with someone who would take such a dumb risk. And for what? Dude! You're 48, you have a career, a business, and a guy who cares for you! WTF?!? I know what you'll say: Use your words-and, trust me, I will. But am I totally crazy? I feel shitty for having snooped, but it started innocently enough with me wanting to write a goofy note on his crossword puzzle.