Anyone who has spent more than a community tour group's worth of time in a police station can attest that there are a lot of differences between what's on TV and what happens every day.

Domestic violence is a case in point.

On cop shows, it rarely comes up. In real life, however, it accounts for a disturbingly large number of the calls for service. In addition to being all too common, domestic violence calls are among the most disheartening aspects of public safety work. It is possible to track down a killer, crack a drug ring and even bring down organized crime conspiracies. It is just about impossible, at least for a police officer, to secure a good outcome on a domestic violence call.

An arrest may be made, but victims, children and families often end up not pursuing charges and the cases end up being dropped, something that a week's worth of visits to Harford County District Court will show, and years worth of visits will demonstrate with brutal clarity.

This month at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Harford County on Route 22 in Churchville, the results of this terrible part of the modern human condition is on display. On the grounds of the church are 15 life-size red wooden silhouettes representing the people killed over the past 20 years in domestic violence cases in Harford County. They are children, women and men whose homes turned out to be deadly traps rather than the sanctuaries most of us retire to when the day is done.

The silhouettes are part of a local observance of the Silent Witness National Initiative, which seeks to raise public awareness of a problem most of us are aware of, but probably not as in tune to as we should be.

While the display highlights the potentially deadly consequences of ongoing situations of domestic violence, it also is important to realize home life is a physically painful experience for far too many people. Domestic violence is meted out among people who are in situations that are supposed to be loving, and generally allowed to continue thanks to others who are supposed to be in loving relationships with both victims and perpetrators.

If something is to be done to stop the violence, it ultimately won't come by calling police – though calling them is exactly what needs to be done when fists fly – but by those who are close to the situations taking action to do whatever needs to be done to separate combatants and either keep them separate, or get them the help they need or both.

It's not an easy subject to ponder, and it's even more difficult to deal with in a meaningful way.